This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Aberdeen chapter.

Can you have a romance with yourself?

I asked a friend of mine whether she has romance with herself. She gave me a weird look and said that she gains romance from a partner.

“So, you don’t love yourself then”, I asked? “Of course, I do”, she said. I asked her what she does to show love to herself, she replied with the most common answers, such as “doing my nails, my hair, exercise” and so on. The surprising fact was that she identified self- care/self-love as the same thing. They do go hand in hand, but they aren’t the same. Most of us take care of our body daily, but what about our souls? You have to love yourself emotionally too, and this is the harder part. Obviously, self -care is a good way to start loving yourself, but it is not enough itself. I’m going to share ten tips for both self-care and self-love in order to help you find your romance with yourself!

#1 Taking a bath

A hot bath is always a good idea. Whenever I feel a bit lost, or I’m unsure about something important I just sit in my bathtub for a couple of hours. It’s either a simple bath or the “face mask, body scrub, bath bomb, candles” type, it helps me to relax and let go of things. As Sylvia Plath said, “there must be a quite few things that a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them”

#2 Stay hydrated, eat well, exercise

I know, I know, this one is such a cliché but it’s so true! I used to drink half a litre of water a day, and terrible headaches occurred. Now, I have 1,5 litre water a day which is still not that much, but the difference is huge. If you’re having problems with drinking the sufficient amount, buy a cute bottle in B&M, or Primark – it actually helps.

By eating well, I don’t mean following a diet. I am not a big fan of any diets, I simply try to eat as much quality food as I can. But if my body wants some chocolate, or a gyros at four am after clubbing I won’t say no to my body-temple. Listen to what your body tells you.

Exercise is a part of my everyday routine, there is nothing that can clear my mind and de-stress me more than a nice run along the beach. Obviously, you don’t have to run like a crazy every day to be healthy and well balanced. A nice slow walk is worth just as much, if that’s what makes you feel good.

#3 Dress well

Autumn is here and for me it usually means sweatpants and big, cosy hoodies to protect me from the cold, Scottish wind and rain. Once I went to a 10 am lecture in pyjamas – not because I was suffering from a bad hangover, or because I was late – I was simply too lazy to put on everyday clothes. I garnered some funny looks on that day, and I knew I reached rock-bottom. Since then I have tried to dress nicely every day. A good outfit and a pretty lipstick lend me some confidence and give me a good start for my day. Some studies have also showed that our appearance may be linked to our feelings about ourselves. Even if you are feeling down, just try putting on a nice dress – it might not change the world, but it is indeed a great step towards finding peace with yourself.

#4 Read

A good book is food for the soul and keeps your mind in shape. There are plenty of psychological advantages to reading, but I do it for the joy of it. A good book is like a hot cup of tea on a rainy day; essential. Books give you so much more than a couple of hours escape from the world. They transform reality and can help you become a better version of yourself.

#5 Stay organised

Personally, I find this extremely hard to do, and I think I am not the only one. But don’t panic! A to-do list or a bullet journal can help to keep your shiny sh*t together. I follow some really good accounts on Instagram and on Pinterest (e.g.: esztijournals, mylifejournalized, gingerwhojournals) to keep myself inspired and motivated.

#6. You are worth it

Have you ever whispered to yourself in a public toilet the words “you’re such an idiot” or “why am I like this” after an awkward situation? Hands up if you have. Everyone has good and bad features. Let the bad ones be seen as well, they are part of you, don’t hide them, because they make you who you are now. Accepting our bad attributes means that we accept ourselves completely. Sometimes we act like idiots, but that idiot is part of your personality as well. You are amazing! You were put in this world for a reason and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

#7 Don’t avoid your feelings

Emotional honesty is very important. Don’t try to numb your feelings. Experience them, even the bad ones. We often run away from negative feelings in an attempt to avoid them. Avoidance of negative emotions only helps in the short term, but they will just accumulate long term. Face what you feel and try to accept your emotions.

#8 Celebrate your success

I always celebrate my successes, even the small ones. I always go through my day and find small wins, such as making it to a lecture on time, or finally trying that cupcake recipe my mom sent me. Finding these wee successes boost my confidence and can make even a terrible day a bit happier.

#9 Talk to your friends and family, and seek help if you need it

Surround yourself with people you love and who love you. Talk to them, spend time with them and you’ll see how amazing you’ll feel. Your family and friends will encourage and support you no matter what.

#10 Be proud of your failures

Failing is part of life, so don’t be ashamed or scared of doing things wrong. It is still better to make mistakes than to do nothing and just wait for a miracle to happen. You can gain so many useful experiences from failures. I love my failures, because they mean that I have some good stories to tell at parties.

All the pictures are from Pinterest, below you can find the links to them

Self-Care and Self-Love Tips

We wanna slide into your DMs