Making new friends is a fun and exciting experience, but in the world of Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, the dynamic has certainly changed. However, a recent, first-of-its-kind study has been released from the University of Kansas according to Teen Vogue, and it reveals a huge factor in making friends. Here’s a hint: it’s not maintaining a Snapchat streak or tagging each other in memes.
No, unfortunately, interacting on social media is not the secret to making friends. The truth lies in time, and more importantly, time spent together on activities that you both enjoy. The study, which was released by Jeffrey Hall, an associate professor of Communications from the University of Kansas, explores the amount of time not only needed to make a friend, but to also move through the different stages. The study reports that “it takes roughly 50 hours of time together to move from mere acquaintance to casual friend, 90 hours to go from that stage to simple ‘friend’ status and more than 200 hours before you can consider someone your close friend.”
Again, it’s important that this time together is spent hanging out and doing fun activities, as Hall’s study found that hours spent working together didn’t count as much.
“We have to put that time in,” Hall says. “You can’t snap your fingers and make a friend. Maintaining close relationships is the most important work we do in our lives—most people on their deathbeds agree.”
And for those people out there who have over 2,000 Facebook friends or define themselves by the numbers, Hall also found from previous studies that the brain can only handle about 150 friendships. Hall says that “the amount of time and the type of activity shared with a partner can be thought of as strategic investments toward satiating long-term belongingness needs.”
Teen Vogue reports that Hall compiled this data from 355 responses to an online survey from adults who had moved in the last six months and are currently seeking out new friends. The adults responded to questions analyzing their new relationships and how much time was spent together, asking them to rate their relationships based on four categories: acquaintance, casual friend, friend and close friend. This helped him estimate the amount of time it took to move through each stage.
The second part of the study, where Hall surveyed 112 KU freshmen who had recently moved to Lawrence, helped reinforce this data. According to the press release, “He asked them about two people they had met since starting school two weeks before. Then he followed up with the respondents four and seven weeks later to see how that relationship had progressed.”
The results of both these studies were combined, which concluded an estimate of 40 to 60 hours to establish a casual friendship, 80-100 hours to go to being friends and 200 hours to transition to good friends.
“You can’t make people spend time with you, but you can invite them,” says Hall. “Make it a priority to spend time with potential friends. If you are interested in a friendship, switch up the context. If you work together, go to lunch or out for a drink. These things signal to people that you are interested in being friends with them.”
The semester isn’t over yet, so be bold and reach out to someone you’ve always wanted to become closer to!Â