What are you looking for?
“Finding yourself” often refers to a journey of self-discovery and realizing a purpose in your life. It seems like a pretty wholesome concept, however, because of its overuse it has become a cliché that has lost these very honest and important ideas.
Here are the most concerning issues about the term:
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It is often used as an excuse.
Think of those comedy films which center around characters going through a break up. “I need to find myself” is just as common as “It’s not you, it’s me.” In this case, “finding yourself” has been reduced to a means of getting out of a relationship without hurting a person’s feelings. Unfortunately, that does not really make a break-up any better. It’s probably better to just be honest.
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It assumes extremes need to be taken to go through this journey.
“Finding yourself” is often associated to taking a long trip on the other side of the world and leaving all your responsibilities behind. This assumes, however, that you need to live another person’s life to take this action. In the wise words of a colleague and friend, “everything can be done in moderation.” Changes can be made in your life to search for this purpose and passion, such as starting a new hobby or taking a course. I am not dismissing traveling altogether because I truly believe that you can learn a lot about yourself especially in getting lost in a new environment, but if finding this new version of yourself is your goal then you’re missing out on a lot.
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If you’re always looking for something else, you will never be happy.
It suggests that you’re constantly searching for something. My mother has always encouraged me to look at the positives in my life. If you’re not able to do this, you will remain unhappy. It is better to accept yourself and your situation. This does not mean to be complacent, as changes should be encouraged, but just to be able to see the good things in your life rather than always looking at the negatives. Finally, how will you know that you are done searching? When does it end? Depending on such “finding” is unreliable and there is never an assurance of an ending. You could spend your whole life doing this. Now why would you want to do that?
I hope that I haven’t shut down or completely criticized your way of life, but encouraged you to have a new perspective. And, If you’re feeling lost and unsure, just know that you’re beautiful, awesome and everything is going to be alright! Maybe, if all else fails, just ask Siri.