After this past weekend, I feel like this is needed, so let’s talk seriously for a second. There is a problem that I see frequently (and sometimes I am a part of the problem on a rare occasion). It’s about being overly touchy and more aggressive while intoxicated towards your friends and even people you don’t know.
There is a bit of proper drunk etiquette that I feel needs to be reinforced and something that I try to live by as best I can. It is on both sides of the isle, but often I see it more with guys. I’ve had drunk friends of mine make complete fools out of themselves and make really forward, unwanted advances on others. It’s something that may have happened to you, or maybe what you have done to others. If you’ve had it happen to you, you need to tell them no and talk to them about it when they are sober. If you know it is you, you need to stop. Intoxication is no excuse to be an idiot.
Guys, keep it in your pants. If you’re out with friends, even if you are completely drunk, you should know that no means no. Drill that into your head because these kinds of drunk actions can have serious consequences down the road. You come across as an asshole and put people in weird situations. Everyone at the bar, including myself have been approached by intoxicated strangers but that is easier to handle than when the person advancing on you is a friend.
When I go to the bar now with friends, usually I end up trying to stop strangers from advancing on my friends or stop my friends from being completely idiotic and doing something they will regret in the morning. I don’t want to see my friends hurt by anything or hurting someone else. Watching my friend get very handsy with a girl and the girl is noticeably uncomfortable but doesn’t know what to do is a very nerve-racking experience. Especially when I pulled my friend away.
Live by these rules, and you (hopefully) won’t cause trouble or be the one that is known as that guy or girl:
1. Gauge the situation.
Try and assess if you are drunk. If you know you are actually drunk, maybe making advances is a bad idea. If maybe a little inebriated, ehh maybe start it off with dancing face to face and gauge their reaction. It’s kind of a common courtesy to not just go up to someone, grab them and start dancing.
2. No means No. Even when you are drunk.
There shouldn’t have to be an explanation for this one…
3. Learn to politely get passed people in the bar.
If someone is in front of you, pass them by saying excuse me and giving a gentle push on the upper back, away from the spine. Don’t place your hand on their lower back or on the spine ever cause it is a little creepy (unless you know the person pretty well).
4. Leave attitude at the door.
You can have the world’s shittiest day, but that doesn’t mean that you should push it onto others. If you’re being overly emotional or aggressive at the bar because of what happened to you earlier, you can really damper the mood for everyone else around you. Sometimes it is a little too much, but try to contain it as best you can. I know it’s difficult to do, but it is a bit of a skill that you can learn.
5. Apologize if you do something dumb.
No…. Actually say sorry and try to mean it. If you do something stupid, it really is essential to show the other person that you actually do feel bad. It can go a long way. Apologizing when sober also usually means more than when drunk.