When I started off 2017 I was coming through a bit of a rough patch.
I was battling medical issues and drowning in anxiety for my future. I was recovering from a concussion and was basing my happiness on my success and I could only see my failures.
My demons were at work. The ones that were telling me that I couldn’t overcome my weaknesses and shortcomings. And that no one truly cared about me and I wasn’t capable of being loved so I didn’t let anyone show me love. I was convinced that I didn’t need anybody. I was also becoming insecure. I thought everyone was out to get me and had some serious trust issues. I struggled to build relationships with my family, friends, and any one new who entered my life.
But for my New Year’s Resolution I promised myself that I was going to be free of those demons. I was no longer going to end up in the pattern of life I was drowning in. That I was going to have to be the one to make the change if I wanted change.
After my rough Spring Semester ended I decided it was time to put that resolution into action. At this time I had let myself go and stopped caring about my personal health which caused me to do terrible in school and lose self motivation.
When I went home for the summer I was coming to release baggage with my family and to build myself back up. So I didn’t use social media, didn’t talk to anyone, and started working out and confronted my family.
I did successfully start building better relationships and realized that where a lot of my problems lied. They were the foundation to why I was so unhappy. The resentment had built up and was affecting my college life.
By the end of the summer I had gained weight, naturally felt happier, and was truly taking care of myself.
There’s a point in time where you may feel like you’ve hit the bottom. You may have fallen into a hole in life and it seems like it just keeps getting deeper. Figure out where the problem lies. If it’s a continued pattern you recognize within yourself and life pattern then it’s time to make a decision to take control of the situation to change your outcome.
If you feel like you can’t help yourself, there is help out there.
I’m happy to say that I am in a better and stable place in my life. I choose to love myself first. My grades are good, my weight is good, I’m monitoring my health, and building better relationships.
But most importantly, I’m Happy.
May everyone have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.