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Giving up the Gossip

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Mich chapter.

Thanksgiving is a time of year in which we stop to think about what we are thankful for and what we cherish in life. However, often times we do not try to channel this thankfulness into improvement and betterment in our own lives. From this realization, I decided to make a change in my own life and eliminate something I constantly do, but brings no joy or benefit to me or those around me: gossiping.

After deciding to make this adjustment, I became aware of something that surprised and disappointed me: how often and the extent to which I gossip. When I became conscious of it, the sheer amount of times my friends and I would talk about other people, whether their actions, stylistic choices or even trivial things that have no effect on my life, began to scare me.

I have been trying this whole “no gossiping thing” for almost a week and in this short span of time, I can genuinely say I can feel a difference in my attitude and behavior. Before I noticed how often I gossiped with my friends, I was not aware that these harsh feelings and criticisms of others actually influenced my actions. For example, if I were to talk behind a specific person’s back, this would influence how I would look at them and treat them. When I limited how much I gossiped though, I found that I started to have a better outlook of people’s differences and individualistic traits. When I wasn’t constantly talking and thinking about people’s differences to my own, I naturally began to notice their good qualities and was more open to them.

Not only did cutting gossip out of my life shape my ability to accept others, but worked as self-improvement to my own life. Instead of making conversation with my friends about other people, I began to talk to them about more important things such as their own life and interests. We often spend so much time talking about other people, that we can often forget to talk about more important things.

I am not going to say that quitting gossiping all together was an easy task. In our society, it is such a common and natural thing, it can be hard to even notice you are doing it in the first place. However, keeping it in the back of my mind, I would begin to steer the conversation away from this harsh and nasty track if I found it was going into this direction and change the subject to something more pleasant.

Although I can not promise that I will never gossip again or be the poster child for ending gossip, after this small change, I have felt better about myself and my interactions with others. I have learned how unnecessary and cruel gossiping can be and that there is no benefit to encouraging in it or taking part in it. It is gossiping that initiates the vicious cycle of bullying and unkindness in this world. If all of us were to make even minor adjustments to decrease the amount of gossip we spread and share, our culture could change drastically. This Thanksgiving taught me not only to be thankful for what I have, but thankful that I had the passion to make a change for the better.

 

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Julia Maxman is a Freshman at the University of Michigan from New Jersey. GO BLUE!
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Em M

U Mich

Em is a senior at the University of Michigan, studying English and Psychology. Go Blue!