Being 21 is the most convenient thing to ever happen to me. It’s the perfect excuse to avoid hanging out with people: “sorry I’m 21 now, have to start acting like an adult, can’t go out” as I’m sitting on my couch with a fat glass of wine avoiding humanity.
Perhaps the best part of being 21 is being able to drink my way through all family functions. Thanksgiving is coming up and while I usually just hide under the table to avoid any questions, I’ve come up with some more fun ways to deal with those invasive family members.
1) When someone asks what you’re doing after college
Just slowly start an IV filled with wine and hook it up to your arm.
2) When someone asks if you’re dating anyone
Put a lampshade over your head with a breathing tube and a drinking tube.
3) When someone comments on your weight
Inform them you have a six-pack and then pull it out of the fridge and crack one open.
4) When someone asks how school is going
Take a shot for every point your GPA has gone down.
5) For every other question
Just drink from the bottle and avoid eye contact.
Drink responsibly and good luck with your family this Thanksgiving!