It is that time in term when inevitably work starts piling up, the cold rolls in and library trips become a daily occurrence. The shiny optimism that accompanies the beginning of the year starts to fade and looming deadlines seem to hang in the air tangibly.
Besides the struggle of summative season, this is often when the dreaded home sickness hits. For some, it creeps up on them until one day all they can think about is a hug from mum and their own bed, whilst for others it comes on suddenly and seems to hit like a tidal wave. Personally, I fall into the latter category. No matter how it affects you, everyone will experience some form of home sickness in their life.
As an Australian whose family is currently based in Hong Kong, I will be the first to put my hand up and say I get home sick. For me, the struggle is not being able to jump on a train and see my family for a weekend if I really need it. I am constantly reminding myself that home is never going anywhere, and my family is only a skype call away, but sometimes the distance seems way too much to manage. Luckily after 2 full years at Durham, I have figured out a few ways of coping and keeping homesickness at bay. So, on the days that you find yourself counting down the weeks, days and hours until you can go home, or spending hours daydreaming about seeing your cat (guilty), here are my top tips for shaking off the blues and doing something about it!
Firstly, remember that your friends are the family you get to choose. I find that if I surround myself with people that I love my day seems that little bit brighter. I am very lucky to have some amazing friends, so when I feel down I make plans with them! I personally find that a few hours out of the Durham bubble – usually in Newcastle – with some good friends has me feeling all warm and fuzzy again. Going to the movies, out for dinner or even just a coffee will not only take your mind off missing home, but will also remind you that you have people who care about you here too.
Secondly, talk about it. I think there is a tendency to want to hide or shy away from negative emotions because people want to believe that if you don’t acknowledge them, they will just go away. Whilst I wish this was true, the reality is very different. The more you try and bury the feelings, the more likely they will bubble over and become unmanageable. My advice would be talk about it to someone. I personally live with some great people so I always have someone on hand to vent to. Find a friend who you trust and share what it is you’re missing about home. You might even find sharing stories with someone actually helps you!
Something else that helps with home sickness is emulating the comforts of home. For me, home means good food and serious chill time. If I know I have a particularly hard week I try and set aside one night to make myself a really good dinner ‘a la mum’ and put one of my favourite movies on. Ideally I would combine this with the advice above and invite a few pals along, because there is definitely comfort in numbers. Taking time out is so important at university as it will help you feel more balanced. It is also really nice to emulate a similar sort of ritual for when you’re away from home.
My best advice for homesickness is to remember that it is ok to feel that way. I think there is so much pressure at university to always be enjoying yourself and to embrace your newfound independence. But the reality is, everyone has bad days or even weeks. Sometimes all you want is to go back to the familiarity and safety of home and that is more than ok. I don’t think it is a sign of weakness or failure or even immaturity. Homesickness is normal, and I believe that it isn’t something you ever grow out of, rather something you learn to combat. Remember, you’re not alone and home is never more than a phone call away!
Image Credits:
https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/701857923149435655/
https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/442549100854110399/
https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/382524562092470427/