People are often super shocked to hear when I tell them I’ve been with my boyfriend since the 7th grade (I can hear the “oh my god” reactions already). Don’t get me wrong, we’ve had our ups and downs over the past couple of years, but nonetheless, I don’t regret anything about it. Being in a relationship with the same person since you were 14 is probably one of the weirdest yet most wonderful thing I’ve gotten to experience in my 19, almost 20, years of life. That is roughly 90% of puberty, which let’s be real, is the most uncomfortable stage of life to exist. Yet, in the last five years of this romantic escapade, I’ve learned so much about my relationship, myself, and people in general. I’ll be honest, the only reason I’m really writing this is because “Higher” by Rihanna came on and I got in my feelings about my boyfriend, so LET ME LIVE AND BE SAPPY! Without further ado, I bring you the 5 Things My Relationship Has Taught Me:
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To Love Myself
I know, it seems counterintuitive and weird that loving someone else could teach you to love yourself, but it did. I met my boyfriend when I was 14 and I wasn’t necessarily in the best state of mind. I didn’t feel good about myself in any way, shape, or form and having a support system who constantly motivates you and wants you to be better is one of the best things to happen to me.
2. To Be Comfortable with Being Alone
Again, weird and counterintuitive, but I promise there’s a method to my madness! I have always had the worst social anxiety. I hated being alone but I also hated having to start conversations and half the time, I would cling to one person to keep me from wanting to cry because I neither wanted to be alone OR socialize. It wasn’t until our relationship had a falling out that I realized I can’t put my whole existence or dependence on another human. It taught me that I have an individual purpose which isn’t finding the one to complete me, but compliment my already whole self.
3. If People Are Meant To Be In Your Life, They Will Be.
I’ve grown past trying to hold onto people who don’t value my friendship as much as I do theirs. I would give and give pieces of myself, my time, my love and care for people even when they don’t give it back. I used to relate to “We accept the love we think we deserve” because it felt like I was too crappy of a friend but now I know to let go of the people that have ever made me feel that way.
4. Silence Doesn’t Feel Wrong
The sound of nothing between two people used to scare the living hell out of me. Running out of things to talk about was my worst nightmare because to me, it meant the end of a conversation which would lead to this heavy feeling of emptiness, but it doesn’t feel that way anymore. Silence with him is enjoying the quiet universe we’ve created where the only energy needed is our presence.
5. Being Uncomfortable Disappears For The Most Part
You could not tell 14 year old me that she would grow comfortable enough to eat a whole pizza in front of a boy. You could not tell 14 year old me that she would soon be okay with becoming so emotionally vulnerable to someone because she trusts them so much. I never saw myself becoming this unapologetic of a woman, or even this open of a person had it not been for someone to show me that all I need to do is do what I must to make the world a better place for myself and others.
P.S Thanks for letting me be an emotional sap
P.S.S. Hi, Luis, thanks for putting up with me and, yes, I had to use a That 70s Show gif. :-)