Dear Millennials,
I’m writing this letter to let you know that as much as I love our generation, we have a major problem. There are so many things about millennials that are amazing and that is what makes writing this letter so hard. We care for the environment, equality of all people, female empowerment. In so many ways we are kicking ass and breaking barriers, and for that I feel an overwhelming sense of pride to stand beside you in our quest for a better world.
However, we have one fault that is going to be detrimental to us and most people don’t realize it is even an issue. We have developed a warped illusion of the importance of happiness and it’s going to harm us more than we think. So this is why I’m writing: to send a warning that its time to suck it up buttercup.
We have developed a weird notion that we “shouldn’t do things that don’t make us happy.” And that if it doesn’t make us happy, we should stop immediately and do something better. This to me is both alarming and concerning. Our adoption of individualism is going to hurt us in the long run for a few different reasons. Allow me to elaborate.
So many times I have heard my friends say, “If it doesn’t make you happy don’t do it.” And for many reasons this claim is unrealistic. The first example may be obvious, but my midterm exams definitely don’t make me happy. However, if I want to graduate from school and earn a degree, I need to do them. Just because they don’t make me happy doesn’t mean they’re not important. We need to remember that happiness is not the only attribute of something being worthwhile. We’re creating an environment that isn’t teaching us to roll up our sleeves and do the tough work in our day to day, and that’s something we can’t avoid. Our bosses are going to give us assignments we don’t want to work on, our spouses to attend work parties that are of no social interest, our kids to buy foods and sit through activities that we could care less about. The future is full of doing things you don’t want to do. Unfortunately, these things are unavoidable. So we can’t get into the habit of “only doing things that makes us happy” because its unrealistic.
My second example, say its around the holidays and your boyfriend/girlfriend has invited you over to spend time with their family. You know as well as I do that listening to families talk about politics that you don’t agree with and opinions on whether or not climate change is real (I’m cringing just typing the idea) definitely won’t make you happy. But you don’t go for you, and regardless of how poor of a type you may have your significant other will be over the moon that you were there to suffer through it together. Sometimes sucking it up and doing things for the sake others is something you have to do EVEN IF IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU HAPPY! And let me tell you in the long run, you’ll be better off because of it.
My last point is that it is impossible to be happy all the time whether we like it or not. It is like any other emotion; it comes and goes. So instead of recognizing that sometimes we are just going to be sad, or angry or annoyed, we are beating ourselves up over not being happy. We stress and fixate on happiness and our inability to constantly achieve it. Take a breath, it’s okay. Happiness will always find its way back to you, allow yourself to feel those other emotions. They are all just as important as being happy.
If I can leave you with any advice it’s this: not everything in life is going to be fun, or make you happy but if you can’t preserve through those things and keep others feelings in mind, you will be better off because of it. We need to think of the bigger picture, of others and we will all see improvements in our own lives. So let me propose a new goal to you rather than just always trying to be happy. Instead, try to be well. This allows room for feeling other emotions, doing things you don’t want to do and acknowledges that you will be better off because of it.
So be well to anyone who reads this, you’re doing great sweetie.