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Being a Romantic in a Hookup Culture

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCD chapter.

Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic? Are you waiting for some amazing guy to stand outside your apartment with a boom box or for that cutie in your psych class to come up to you and tell you how he couldn’t stop staring at you and had to come over and ask you out? Welcome to the Romantic Club: College 2017 Edition. Don’t get too excited, however, because navigating the dating world in college as a romantic is more difficult than meets the eye, especially within the age of hook-up culture.

Source: Giphy

For some wild reason, one that I don’t think I will ever understand, the world has turned upside-down in the realm of dating and serious relationships. Think about the last time a nice guy asked you out on a date – and I’m talking about a real date; the kind where he takes you out to a movie or dinner, and there are no expectations for the night to get physical. If you’re reading this and you can actually think of a recent event similar to this in your life, then you are an exception and one lucky gal.

Our culture, especially in college, has thrown away the ideals of romanticism and now believes it’s acceptable to have one-night-stands with people whenever they feel lustful desires. The people they are hooking up with are often random strangers they meet at a party, and they may end up regretting various acts they do with these strangers. Is this something that us romantics should just conform to because it seems to be the only way to get attention from those we are attracted to?

Being a romantic in our culture can be immensely frustrating. I grew up listening to my grandma’s stories about her romantic adventures across the globe and how she would go out with men and just have fun. She would tell me how one guy knit her a sweater to win her affection, how dukes would take her to marvelous parties, and how other gentlemen would take her out dancing. Where did this chivalry disappear to? I can’t even get a guy to hold the door open for me when I am walking into the Science Lecture Hall.

Source: Giphy

All of the romantic movies that taught us what it is like to fall in love did not prepare us for the truth about relationships in college. It makes you wonder if being a romantic is the new wallflower and whether these ‘free-spirited hook-up participants’ are the new normal. If this is so, when did romanticism fade away enough for hook-ups to become the current thing?

I understand that many people come to college and want to experience playing in the world of hook-ups. This is understandable and every individual has the right to live their life however they wish. But when does this transition from being a phase and into a lifestyle? Some habits are difficult to get rid of, and this culture may end up trickling into one’s lifestyle well after college and may become the one bad habit they cannot quit.

For all of you romantics out there feeling lost, don’t fret. It’s a basic part of human nature to want to find love and find one person to be their partner throughout life. Hopefully, those wrapped up in the college hook-up culture realize this sooner than later.  Being a romantic is an amazing thing, although it can be hard during college. Everyone loves a romantic, so don’t give up on your romantic dreams. Stick to your beliefs and remember there are other similar minded people out there. Be in it for the long haul, and it will be worth it.

Cover Image Source: Pexels

Courtney is a senior at the University of California Davis where she is earning her degree in Communication, with minor in English. Courtney is a member of Alpha Delta Pi and is from Santa Barbara, CA. She is an avid reader, Netflix and Hulu watcher, beauty enthusiast, and is a big foodie!
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