The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus FSU.
When I tell people that I’m not a feminist, they’re usually baffled at the thought that anyone, especially a female, doesn’t identify as a feminist. There’s a stigma in modern society that not being a feminist means you’re a “sexist” and a “misogynist” for not believing in the same movement that everyone else does.
However, that is far from the truth.
The reason why I don’t identify as a feminist isn’t because I hate women, which would be ironic since I am a woman, or believe that all of our rights should be revoked. But, feminism today, specifically third wave feminism, doesn’t reflect the beliefs and ideas that I have. The feminist movement that I see only presents issues that women face and frankly, remains silent when women have the advantage like in education and family law. Also, just because I am a woman, doesn’t mean I’m automatically going to believe and be a part of the same movement simply because we’re the same gender.
A movement that was so clear in what they wanted to change, like voting rights and the rights to one’s own body, has become so convoluted with an ideology that I question what exactly the movement is fighting for.
What’s the endgame for the movement? Equal pay? The end of “Rape Culture”? “The dismantling of the Patriarchy?” Now, I’m not so naïve to believe that everything is perfect. But, for the movement to continuously believe that women are still oppressed when in fact we have more rights than before, makes it hard for me to take them seriously and according to this 2013 article, it appears that I’m not the only one that has no interest in identifying as a feminist.
I’m not saying that feminism should be dismantled or that everyone that identifies as one is a “man-hating, feminazi” because that’s not true either. I think it’s great that most women have found a sense of community and a sisterhood within this movement, but I refuse to force myself to join any movement that I don’t connect with.
Growing up, I didn’t experience feeling ashamed about my gender, I didn’t feel like I was less than my male classmates, and I don’t remember my parents and teachers telling me that I was incapable of achieving my dreams because I’m a girl. Instead, I was taught to work hard like everyone else to get where I wanted to be. My failures and my setbacks had nothing to do with my gender, but because of the decisions that I made.
As I mentioned above, feminism only focuses on women’s issues, which to some people isn’t a bad thing. Yet, when a movement like this one claims to advocate for both genders, but only talks about one, they end up excluding an entire group and changes the message. When I read articles about male victims of domestic violence like this one and this one I can’t help but ask, why wasn’t the feminist movement talking about this? There are thousands of women shelters across the nation, but only one male shelter. But according to Katie-Tastrom Fenton, we need to think twice about providing resources and shelters for male victims because women “make up about 80% of DV victims and survivors.”
The fact that women are also more likely to receive less time in prison than men for the same crime is also an issue that feminists haven’t acknowledged and why is that? This article written in 2012 goes into a bit more detail about it. Why is it so easy for some feminists to shout out inequalities when it benefits them?
Some of my very close friends think it’s only a phase because I’ve apparently been influenced by what is shown on mainstream media to not only be turned off by the movement but the label itself. Honestly, they’re 20 percent right, but that doesn’t mean that social media is misrepresenting the movement when most moments are posted on Twitter, Snapchat, YouTube and mainstream news. Then that brings up another question, how is the movement supposed to be presented? Or how does the movement want society to see them?
And the 80 percent has never cared much for feminism in the first place. I knew it existed thanks to history class, and I am very thankful for the women that started to fight for women’s rights. However, as I got older I still didn’t have the desire to join the movement. I go through my days stressing about my classes, my upcoming graduation, making sure I get all my points in my fraternity and lack of sleep. The last thing I’m going to worry about is the Patriarchy and this so-called oppression I’m in.
To me, we don’t get to cherry-pick how and where we want to be treated equally. It’s either men and women are completely equal or we accept the fact that we are different.