From childhood, women have been conditioned to believing that fulfillment comes from finding a “soulmate.” This is most notable in the cinematic and literary realms, which are guilty of reproducing heteronormative ideologies of romance. These myths have not only been commodified but dangerously used in real life as instructional guides for modern relationships.
Most films—like the slew of Cinderella adaptations—follow the boy-meets girl narrative that ends with them living happily ever after. This archetype that maintains conventional gender roles has become a referential yet clichéd example of love. It values female passivity and vanity over intelligence and independence. This tired characterization limits the amount of agency female characters have over their decisions. Not only are they rewarded for exhibiting such vacuous behaviour, but their crowning achievement is a suitable partner—not intellectual enlightenment, a promotion, or the satisfaction of being single.
In fact, women who divert from the prim and proper image expected of them are scrutinized and excluded from female friend groups. They are represented (almost vilified) as successful career women, who are respected out of fear rather than admired for their accomplishments. Their indifference to societal norms as an independent woman threatens male virility, making it difficult for a relationship to flourish.
In order to be seen as a desirable “soulmate,” a transformation must occur to restore patriarchal authority. I should note that while emotional and psychological transformations do happen, the focus is usually placed on physical modifications. This serves to reduce other worthy qualities that are comparable to the woman’s male counterpart—assertiveness, independence, intellect, etc.—as the female is now only considered a “pretty face.” The threat to traditional masculinity has been conquered. As a result, it re-emphasizes a woman’s need to prioritize their outward beauty over their career or education to find a satisfying love affair.
The quest for the coveted “soulmate” is embedded in several narratives, making it a trope that is recognized as the romance genre in society. Its lustre comes from an idealizing romance to be tantamount to fulfillment. However, this trope produces binaristic roles for men and women that limits how such fulfillment is defined.