We’re All Gross and It’s Okay

The body positivity movement is stronger now than ever before.  All over social media we see women building themselves and other women up.  We are told to love the skin we’re in, to love our flaws and natural selves, no makeup and no filters.  We are told not to compare ourselves against other women because we are beautiful just the way we are.   It’s amazing, but sometimes easier said than done, especially when it’s so easy to find something new every day to be ashamed of.  I was recently having a conversation with a friend in which she revealed something she had been feeling very insecure about, so insecure that it brought her to tears when talking about it with her mom.  That thing was a long, dark hair growing from her chin that she had to pluck.  When she told me this, I felt comfortable telling her that I have the exact same problem.  We were both so relieved to hear that we weren’t the only ones and that this didn’t make us gross or unladylike.  There are so many things women’s bodies are expected to be, and the reality is that we can’t always meet these expectations.   I talked to some other friends to see what “secret” insecurities they have that they’re usually too embarrassed to talk about, and I found that a lot of them overlapped with one another and with what I have personally experienced.  

1. Hair in “weird” places

 I definitely think this is the number one thing as women that we are made to feel ashamed of.  In addition to shaving our legs, armpits, and bikini area, a lot of us also have to pluck other errant hairs that we find on our body.  For example, nipples, belly buttons, and yes, chins, will grow random dark hairs that we find and have to deal with.  It’s so frustrating because it’s not something we outwardly admit to having, and we can’t feel like it’s okay if we’re wearing a bikini and all of the sudden there’s a stray black hair on our stomach that we didn’t notice before.  

2. Peach fuzz

 This is a similar but slightly different category.  Everyone has that light layer of hair covering their face, but for some people it can be a little darker and a little thicker.  Some lighting can make it more noticeable as well.  I never thought much of it until one of my teacher’s from high school cited it as his reason for breaking up with a girl once in an anecdote.  Ever since then, I started noticing it on myself.  I once talked to a girl who even used Nair on her face to get rid of it, even though that seems harmful.  The lengths that we go to impress men, and even to impress one another, are ridiculous, especially with something so natural as a light dusting of hair on one’s face.

3. Not smelling so fresh

 Having a vagina stinks sometimes, literally.  It can be bad right after you’ve worked out, or spent time outside in the heat, but sometimes all it takes is just going about your day and working up a little sweat.  Feminine odor is something girls do not want to talk about with one another.  We want to pretend like it doesn’t happen to us all the time, but it does.  It’s only natural with that part of our body.  Obviously it happens to everyone if Summer’s Eve is able to market a whole line of products geared to deal with it specifically.  

4. Zits

 Getting zits on your face sucks, but at least we can do magic with makeup to cover those up most of the time.  A zit on your back, chest, or shoulders on the other hand is a different story.  You can never predict when they’re going to pop up and you can’t easily cover them with makeup.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to change the top I was going to wear because it didn’t cover a zit I didn’t want to show.  It’s common enough and we shouldn’t feel embarrassed about it, especially when they’re in hard to reach places and we need a friend to help us out.  

If we can all admit together, as women, that we’re gross, we have hair that grows in weird places and we don’t always smell perfumed and perfect, maybe we’ll put less pressure on ourselves all the time.  Maybe, if you notice something similar on your body and you’re feeling insecure about it, you can remember that it happens to almost everyone.  It’s not some weird problem that you have to deal with alone.   “Unladylike” problems don’t have to be this big secret.  You’re not the one girl in the world with dark hairs growing on her nipples, or her upper lip, or even her toes.  It’s not gross and it’s not your body’s fault for being unaware of the pressure society puts on women.  

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