10 Stages of Thinking You Got Your Period

1. OH SH*T

I think I just heard Aunt Flo knock on the door, but I’m totally not ready to answer it yet?!?!

2. I really need to start tracking my period.

Every month I say I’m going to put in my planner, and every month I conveniently forget.

3. Wait jk, my period is so irregular that it wouldn’t even make a difference.

Sometimes Uncle Tom gets stuck at work and just can’t visit that week. Oh, well.

4. Will there be a huge red spot on my clothes when I stand up?

How is it that I’m always wearing white shorts when this happens?!

5. Oh my gosh, what if my chair looks like that scene from It with all the blood?!

You know, the one in the bathroom?! Where there’s blood, like, EVERYWHERE?!

6. Why do I have to get my period in the middle of a lecture—this was already bad enough!

In a way, this was a blessing. I am now fully alert.

7. Ok, calm down. Maybe you’re just psyching yourself out right now.

Seriously, every time you think you’ve gotten your period, it’s usually just a false alarm.

8. Who am I kidding, there’s going to be a war zone when I get up from this chair.

Sh*t happens.

9. OMG CLASS IS OVER RUN AND DON’T LOOK BACK.

If I can successfully place my backpack to hide any stains while simultaneously using my Starbucks cup to hide how red my face is, then I deserve donuts for the whole period cycle.

10. *in bathroom* I. don’t. even. have. my. period. Gr8.

Welp, can’t wait to do this again tomorrow!

Photos: cover

• anxiety
• funny
• humor
• period
• periods
• struggle