You know those times when you’re texting a new guy, or even your boyfriend, and you don’t get a response for a while, like hours go by? We all have those thoughts that rush through our head after the twentieth time checking our phone in a matter of 30 seconds with still no reply. Here’s a list of the 20 craziest and funniest (but also completely true) things my friends or I have theorized as to why he has yet reply. Because it can’t just be that he’s busy, right?!
1. He got busy (probably playing video games, *sigh*).
2. He has class or work.
3. He dropped his phone in water (because he wanted to talk to you so badly, he accidentally dropped it in the toilet).
4. Someone stopped by for a surprise visit and he got sidetracked talking with them.
5. What if it’s that girl who was in his Snapchat story three nights ago at 12:58 a.m.?
6. Fine, keep her. I’m too good for him anyway. I was about to give him some wifey material when he only deserves a booty call.
7. OK, wait, that was her in Michelle’s Instagram story just now, never mind.
8. Maybe David just took his phone away messing with him again like he did last Thursday.
9. Or maybe someone kidnapped him on his walk home from the bus.
10. What if he’s not texting me back because his arms are all tied up and I’m the last one he ever talked to?
11. Should I do something? Maybe I should call 911? Or his mom? You still have her number from that one time his phone died and he had to call her.
12. Or maybe all that happened is that his phone died. C’mon, let’s be realistic. That’s much more likely.
13. It could even be that new update slowing him down. Those things take forever to download.
14. Maybe he went out. Midtown Social was having that bar tab tonight. Maybe he’s there?
15. Wait, if he went out, why didn’t he invite me? You like drinks and dancing!
16. OMG! Maybe he’s not interested in you. Why is every guy you’re interested in not interested in you?! *Eye roll*
17. I swore this time I thought he was different. He showed all the signs. He liked all your Instagrams, watched your Snapchat stories and even tried to meet you out.
18. Maybe he lost his phone. You should totally use Find My iPhone to help him find it.
19. Wait, it’s been a while. Maybe he really is in trouble… I’ll use Find My Friends to track him and make sure he’s safe (you still have access to his location because of that one time you couldn’t find each other in Midtown after the game).
20. Oh wait, he just texted!
Guys are a confusing species. They should probably be studied. But until then, just remember to stop and realize how ridiculous you’re being and to laugh at yourself. Guys can bring out the weirdest side in all of us.