I’m the kind of person that goes out of their way not to burn bridges. I stay friends with my exes even when it was the opposite of an amicable breakup. I jump through hoops to stay in touch with friends that don’t try to stay in touch with me, and I try my hardest to make people happy even when it’s not in my best interest.
Being that kind of person is exhausting. It’s hard to put so much energy into burying certain feelings in an attempt to keep someone in your life. When so many people are pulling from you, sometimes you need to step back and ask yourself what you pull from them.
I can give you an example. Like I said, sometimes I put way more effort into failed relationships than I really should. The logic behind that is simple to me: I cared for that person at some point, so I don’t see why I can’t sever the romantic part but still keep up the friendship part. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way for a lot of people, so I end up trying to keep a fire alive that the other person let die a long time ago.
I had a relationship with someone who, at the time, was very special to me. When he broke things off with me, I took it really hard, but, being the kind of person I am, I pushed all those dumb feelings down so I could try to salvage a friendship out of the whole thing.
He never initiated the conversation, so I was always the one to reach out to him if I wanted to talk. He would tell his friends things about me that would hurt my feelings, but when we hung out he was nice, charming, and funny, like he had been before, time and time again. Eventually, through a series of less than favorable events, I finally witnessed the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I got the chance to step back and ask myself what I was getting from this relationship besides continuous disappointment. As petty as it may seem, I did what most dramatic middle schooler’s would do. I unfriended and blocked him on all social media, and believe me, it was long overdue.
You don’t have to wait for someone to repeatedly hurt your feelings to justify removing them from your life. It takes a lot of energy to deny any kind of feelings associated with certain people, and you really don’t have to. Life is short and you don’t need to waste time worrying about how someone, who deserves a good blocking, would feel about being blocked. Just do it and go on with your life.
I didn’t do it to make a point or throw a jab at him. I didn’t do it to hurt his feelings. I did it for me, and I will tell you this, blocking that guy lifted a giant weight off my shoulders, and I’m 100% glad I did it.
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