I recently realized that I have the habit of constantly justifying every choice I make. I often seek the approval from family and friends on a multitude of different topics: what I study, what I wear, what I do, who I hang out with, etc. As I’ve reflected on my full first year in adulthood, I’ve discovered that it turns out we don’t actually have to do all that justifying. I do things for me, and that’s good enough! Here’s a list of six choices that I am happy to say we can go ahead and make on our very own, free of others’ opinions!
1. Your Academic Passions Â
And same with your potential career! Only you get to decide what you want to do with your life, and certain academic majors or career paths should not be deemed inferior by the opinions of others. Don’t dim your own light because you fear what others will think of your passions or work. The world needs you and all your unique qualities.
2. Your Relationships
Our goal in choosing a partner or a relationship should be to make ourselves happy. It’s okay to be with someone who the people in your life don’t approve of, and we shouldn’t feel the need to convince others to accept our relationships. Only you know what you want and need out of love!
3. Your Sex Life
I have plenty of female friends who are their happiest, most exuberant selves when having casual sex with multiple partners. And there are others who have been in relationships for three years or even feel most at peace not having sex with anyone at all. All of these choices are equally valid and do not change one’s identity regardless. You do you!
4. Your Appearance
Do you like wearing makeup occasionally? Amazing, me too! Do you dislike wearing makeup sometimes, too, because your eyes get too itchy and scratching makes your eye liner smudge? I feel you! No matter what you wear, which brand of makeup is (or is not) on your face, or what’s tattooed on your body, you don’t have to explain it to anyone!
5. How You Choose to Spend Your Money
As long as it’s your own money, you deserve the right to choose where and how to waste it, happily and without other people judging you! For instance, my ice cream and wine lifestyle may not be how you dedicate your funds, but for me it works quite nicely!
6. What You Do Regarding Your Own Body
Do you want to take nudes for a trustworthy partner or maybe to boost your self-confidence? Cool! Do you think the best choice for you is to get an IUD? Cool! A nose ring? Definitely cool! It’s your body and who am I to tell you otherwise!In short, as long as you’re not putting yourself or others in danger and/or breaking the law, you get to do whatever the heck your heart desires! If you ask me, that sounds pretty damn liberating!
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