How To Get Rid Of Your Crush’s Girlfriend

All’s fair in love and war! Follow these tactics to eliminate your competition:

Befriend her – I know being nice to her is the LAST thing you want to do, but this will really help you get to know her better (AKA gain dirt on her) and will allow you to spend more time with your crush as well. You know what they say: Keep your friends close, keep your enemies CLOSER.

Once you’re friends with her, offer to style her and do her makeup: Make her look hideous while assuring her that she looks amazing.

Take her out drinking, and wait patiently with a camera for when she says or does anything super embarrassing. Remember, patience is a virtue.

Gift her a week-long getaway to a place far, far away. The further the better. Then get ready to spend some one-on-one time with your crush!  

Stalk her on social media and like her old, humiliating posts and photos. The uglier, the better.

Order her a stripper when you know she’s going to be with your crush. Sit back and watch the drama unfold.

REFUSE TO BE FRIENDS WITH HER? These strategies will help you out:

Always follow your heart. You see her in the cafeteria balancing multiple plates and get the irresistible urge to trip her? DO IT. The key is to follow your instincts.

Comment “OMG you and your brother are SO CUTE!” on all her pictures with your crush.

If you see her at the gym, establish dominance by doing exactly what she does, but better and for longer. Never leave the gym before she does. Not only will this make her feel insecure and threatened, you’ll have a great workout session!

Really want to threaten her? Start tagging your crush in more memes than she does. This will give you countless inside jokes with him and bring you guys closer. Don’t underestimate the power of memes!

Constantly bubble wrap her car so she’s always late to her dates with him.

Casually “run into them” on their dates (looking ON POINT of course), and say any of the following to your crush: “You never told me you had a sister!” “Is this the sister you were telling me about? So sweet of her to come visit!” “OMG you guys look so alike!”

None of these tactics work for you? Channel your inner ninja and TAKE HER OUT!