It has been almost two years since we had an actual conversation. Sure there have been times when we’ve seen each other, waved or made small talk, but it was obviously not like before. That was the hardest thing to accept; nothing would ever be the same between us.
At one time, I thought you would be my best friend for the rest of my life. Even though we were already planning on going to different colleges, I always assured myself that we would remain in contact. Then the second semester of our senior year happened, and I noticed tiny cracks in the foundation of our friendship. We started spending less time together, only talking in the math class we had together. Other mutual friends started ignoring me, and I had a constant feeling that you were hiding something from me. Then something I thought would never happened did. I started to resent you.
I could feel us growing apart, but at that point, I felt as though the damage was already done. Our senior prom was the cherry on top of everything, and I don’t think I could ever express how much you hurt me that night. It was not who you showed up with, it was the fact that you felt like you couldn’t tell me who you were going with. It was the fact that everyone came up to me, asking me if I knew about it. It was the fact that the whole night, both of you gave me these looks like you felt bad for me. It was the fact that you began to feel like a stranger.
A few days before graduation, we both said our apologies. We promised each other that everything that had happened over the last few months would not be enough to end a friendship that had been going strong for years. We swore that before we both went off to college, we would spend the months hanging out. That never happened. After graduation, we went our own ways, and I can take responsibility for that. I made no attempt to make plans with you, or even send you a Snapchat. To be honest, I was still hurt and annoyed by everything that had gone down, and at that point in my life, I was completely fine with not being your friend.
With all that being said, I have matured a lot over these last two years. I am not the same person I was back then, as you probably are not the same person either. However, I still look back at all the good memories and appreciate who we were. I still think of our stupid inside jokes and laugh, and think about how immature we were when we came up with them. I still miss you at times. And I am truly sorry for my part in the end of our friendship, and taking months to respond to your message on Twitter, and for not always being the best friend you needed back then.