On Gratitude
For many college students, gratitude is the epitome of “easier said than done.” Out of the seven billion people on this Earth, we are the lucky few with the privilege of a college education. Most of us have opportunities, experiences, and quality of life that people in other parts of the world could only dream of. Yet, faced with our own personal hardships, many of us struggle to find the silver lining in every bad situation, and break-ups, bad test grades, and “hell weeks” seem like the end of the world.
Some days it’s really difficult to put on the rose-colored glasses, especially when it seems like the entire world is against you. But the truth is, gratitude is more than just a noise word. Being thankful for the good, as hard as it is sometimes, is incredibly empowering. Chances are, there is much more positive in your life then negative; you just have to look a little harder for it, as we humans tend to dwell on the downside.
Here are ten simple ways to practice gratitude in your day-to-day life.
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Make a “Lucky Stars” List
My Biology teacher in high school once canceled his lesson plan for the day because he overheard so much complaining from students. He asked each of his students write down 20 things we were thankful for, and then gave us an envelope. When we were feeling stressed or overwhelmed, we were to open our envelope and read each of the things we were grateful for as a reminder of how lucky we are. Another idea is to write down things you are thankful for on slips of paper and put them in a jar, and then pull one out when you feel you need a little help.
2. Shift your Perspective
Sometimes when something bad happens to you, it can feel like you’ve been stranded on an island with no one to help you. But in reality, bad things happen to good people every day. No one deserves to be in a car accident, or to lose a friend, or to break a leg. And while knowing that doesn’t solve those problems, it can help to remember that most people face terrible problems and overcome them. Sometimes taking the time to help others who are less fortunate can help you acknowledge how blessed you are, and can help you move past an issue. Other times, realizing that some people don’t have access to clean drinking water, food, and healthcare can make your problems seem small by comparison, and can help give you the outlook you need to have a more positive mindset.
3. Validate your Bad Days
It’s okay to have a bad day. I wish that someone had told me this earlier. Some of us are hardwired to think that we always need to put up a happy front, even if inside, it feels like we are breaking. It’s okay to mope, its okay to wallow, it’s okay to cry into a plate of brownies. There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself. But if you find your bad days blurring together into bad weeks and then bad months, and you’re constantly feeling the blues, you may need to make a change. Reach out to the people who love and support you, or talk to a professional.
4. Change your Attitude
When I was small, I remember a day where my parents wouldn’t let me have a popsicle before dinner. I distinctly remember sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor, crying, when my Mom bent down, looked me straight in the eyes, and simply said, “Change your attitude.” First lady Eleanor Roosevelt said something similar very eloquently; She said, “You can often change your circumstances by changing your attitude.” You can’t control the bad things that happen to you and the way that others treat you. But you can control how you react. You can choose to use bad situations as a learning experience and an opportunity for growth. You can change bad energy into good energy. Bad days build better days if you let them.
5. Stop Comparing
Its difficult to see your own value when you’re competing for highest test grades or GPA with someone else. Its hard to appreciate that you have legs to run and lungs to breathe and eyes to see when you’re comparing your body to another’s. Comparison is the enemy of happiness. Wake up every morning and say three things you love about yourself. Look in the mirror and name three attributes that you like. A friend once told me that comparing people is like comparing ice cream flavors. You can’t compare mint chocolate chip to cookies and cream, because some people will like one flavor and some will like the other. Never forget that you can be your own best flavor of ice-cream. The universe made you unique and special; embrace yourself.
6. Say “Thank You” and “I Love You”
There’s a quote that goes something like “You don’t know what you have until its gone.” It’s human nature to take things for granted. Everyone does it, but that doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking. Tell the people in your life that you care. Acknowledge every kind gesture, even if its small. Spread light, even when you have a lot on your plate. And cherish every person that is important to you. It will fill you with joy.
7. See the Beauty in Everything and Everyone
Be mindful of the precious moments in life that make you happy. Take time to think about the special people in your life. Acknowledge places that you associate with good thoughts, songs that bring you joy, or even objects that you identify with. Recognizing and appreciating all of little beautiful things makes you realize how much good there is in the world, and makes the bad seem just a little less important. Remember that it’s those little moments combined that make life worth living.