Alright, so like, I’m VERY single this fine February 14th, and frankly, with every Fifty Shades Darker ad popping up in between my YouTube beauty guru makeup video binges, I’m getting REAL aware of it. Between that and my mom popping the obligatory “so, any new developments with the guy you stare at in class?” question during our weekly phone calls, I might as well don the oh-so-smexy nun-cap and call it a lifetime. The problem is I’m single by choice (*yeah right*). I’m single because I have woefully high expectations of men, mainly derived from Jane Austen novels (a recurring theme in my life?). And it is hard to settle for anyone when your “ideal” is a rich heir with amazing hair (or so I imagine), brooding eyes, a reputable family lineage, a large sprawling estate in the English countryside, and impeccable grammar. (Grammar is so sexy, y’all.)
Boys nowadays do not write emotionally charged letters in whimsical script. They do not entertain you in their ballrooms (innuendo possibly intended?). And while I would never want to exist in Georgian England’s horribly backward misogynistic and classist social system, I do have a pang in my heart for all those tall, gorgeous characters Jane Austen depicts in her novels. However, in my mind there is a definitive ranking of her leading men. Feel free to argue with me, but these are my tastes.
Colonel Brandon
OK. I realize this is an unpopular opinion, but that scene where Colonel Brandon carries a limp Marianne up thunderstruck hill and then waits anxiously by her sick bed until she recovers? Honestly, that scene WRECKS me every time. Though he isn’t the most handsome of Jane Austen’s men, his charm is in his soft, kind, and caring interior.
Mr. Darcy
The One. The ultimate leading man. Tall, brooding, handsome, haughty, arrogant, fiercely loyal, and let us not forget that INHERITANCE. Mr. Darcy is pretty hard to beat frankly, but the non-conformist in me cannot stand to put him first. So bite me.
Henry Tilney
OK. Any man who knows his way around muslin is a boy close to my heart. Henry Tilney. Charming, mysterious Mr. Tilney. Sarcastic. Mysterious. Intelligent. The way he denies his own inheritance for love?
Edmund Bertram
Edmund is honestly one of the most clueless, lovable, kind, and sweet leading men. And frankly, his romance with Fanny has a special place in my heart. The fact that he’s the only one of Fanny’s extended family to treat her with any semblance of dignity really solidifies him as one of my stand alone favorites.
Mr. Bingley
Don’t get me wrong. Mr. Bingley is truly adorable. But I’m not a huge fan of his snarky family and way too polite disposition. Sorry, not sorry.
If you are interested in writing an article for Her Campus Davidson, contact us at davidson@hercampus.com or come to our weekly meeting Tuesday at 8 p.m. in the Morcott Room.
SaveSave
SaveSave