The date is January 21st. All my friends have plans, and I find myself alone.
Make no mistake, this is not a sad, lonely story, but a happy one. I put on my favorite lipstick, brush some eyeshadow on my lids, and add a bit of shimmer to my cheekbones. I’ve decided to take myself to the movies – my first date with myself in a while. I decided to see Hidden Figures, supporting my sisters of color as well as having a nice break from the general rush that life had been giving me. I’ve taken myself to dinner in the past, had coffee with myself quite a few times, but I’ve never seen a movie on my own.
There’s a first time for everything, right?
Despite constant pressure from society, I never felt the strong urge to be coupled up. Sure, it would be nice, but since no one has come along that fits my fancy, I made the decision to start dating myself. The day I decided to do so changed my life for the better. It was this way that I discovered the magic of self-love and self-care, and you can too.
Get dressed up for you, and you alone.
Whatever your definition of dressed up is, do it for yourself more often that you do. Swipe on some lip gloss, run mascara through those lashes, or put on that dress that’s been gathering dust in the back of your closet. Know that you are beautiful and complete on your very own, regardless of who you are or aren’t dating.
Go places alone.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying go everywhere alone, nor am I indicating that you should disregard safety for the sake of looking independent. Take small steps, and broaden your horizons. Do you go to the movies by yourself all the time but have never taken yourself to dinner? Try it! Bring a book to keep yourself company if you’re prone to loneliness. Then make bigger and bigger steps – take yourself out dancing, take yourself to the museum, buy yourself flowers and chocolates.
Embrace who you are, and be your own best friend.
Honestly, the most difficult part of dating myself has been embracing who I am on my own. So often we rely on who we are around other people to define us, but that’s not the case. I am valid on my own, as are you. Value, treasure, and embrace who you are, from the tips of your toes to the follicles on your head. The space between who you are and who you want to be is room for opportunity, not a space filled with failure.
Be there for yourself, care for yourself, and love yourself as best you can – you deserve it.