Dear Final Year,
We have been together now since October and what a time it has been. To be quite honest, you’ve given me some hard times already and I am not quite sure I have felt like this about anyone or anything before.
You have often made me feel like my life consists of three things: eating, studying and only occasionally sleeping. I know that this is what it is all about and that I am not alone but to be quite honest, it has been quite a lonely experience, even though everyone in their final year is going through the same thing.
The main thing that worries me about you is what I’ll do when we’re finally over. When we got together I had to really focus on what I was going to do when I eventually left you – that was the loneliest experience of them all. It is incredibly stressful to have to consider that I will have to go out in the real world and live without the comfort of the library, open for 24 hours a day, or the knowledge that I still had a safety net in the form of your presence in my life.
Discussing my plans after you has been the height of all of my stress. So often it feels like I am the only one flailing about and I am the only one who seems to have little clue what I’ll be doing in just five months. What is important to know, and I think you’ll be comforted to hear, is that I am not alone. We are all flailing. It is not unusual to not know what you are doing. To be quite honest it has taken me a while to resign myself to that fact – to admit both that I have no idea what I’m doing but also that that’s okay. Does anyone really ever know what they’re doing?
Either way, I’m barely in my twenties and whatever happens in just a few months is manageable. Me, and every other finalist, will survive.
So essentially, what I am trying to say to you, is that you can go suck it. I’ll be fine without you so long as I can get through another few months with you.
I can’t wait to be free from you,
Nadine