It’s late at night. You’re all tucked into bed, ready to unwind and read your favorite book after a long day. Your roommate is gone for the night so you have the apartment all to yourself. All of a sudden, you hear a loud THUMP from the other room. Your heart immediately sinks into your chest and you instantly turn into a character on CSI. Your head goes to the most logical conclusion in this situation, which is that someone is obviously in your house trying to kill you and you’re thinking that it’s karma for all of those times that you hit the “close” button in the elevator when someone was about to walk in. After investigating the situation, there’s always a simple explanation for the noise, like maybe your cat has started training for the Olympics and fell down, or possibly your neighbors upstairs are rearranging their living room for the sixth time this semester. Nevertheless, you still go through extreme phases of panic and try to strategize how to capture (or escape) the non-existent person in your household. Here are some things we’ve all done when we hear a scary noise while home alone:
Call your roommate to triple check that she isn’t home.
Text your friends and family to let them know that if you don’t respond in ten minutes, you’re probably dead.
Search for a decent fighting weapon, but only finding a few tampons and an old can of pringles.
Warm up your fighting skills.
Design a well-thought out plan of attack.
Try to sneak into the other room as quietly as possible, but you make a loud noise with every step you take.
Check hiding places to see if you can find the intruder.
Panic right before you turn on the lights.
Realize that there really isn’t anyone in the house and you’ve just been overdramatic.
Even though you go through this cycle a countless amount of times, it’s still extremely scary. Stay safe out there, Gophers!