1. Eat late-night iZone
You can’t end a night of binge drinking without a calzone.
2. Refer to each night by their associated bar
Monday-Breakers, Tuesday-Ocean Mist, Wednesday-Wheelhouse/Pancho’s, Thursdays-Bonvue, Friday-Charlie O’s
3. Skip class to lay on the quad
Especially if there’s free Del’s
4. Make a point to walk past the Wicked Good Kettle Corn stand for a free sample
Once is never enough
5. Drink Iced Coffee in a hot cup
Rams run on Dunkin
6. Park illegally
On the lawn, in the emporium, without a parking pass
7. Smoke
Earning the nickname URhIgh
8. People-watch in the 24-hr room
Has anyone ever successfully completed homework there?
9. Darty
If it’s at least 45 degrees, someone is day drinking
10. Pass judgement based on Greek affiliation
“You’re not in a sorority? What do you do on the weekends?”
11. Ride the ram outside the Union
And take a picture to document it
12. Go to the bookstore to kill time
To peruse all of the over-priced apparell
13. Live down the line
And brag about it to all your friends from home
14. Instagram sunset pictures
Can you blame us?
15. Treat Greek Week like a national holiday
Class attendance/participation reaches an all time low
16. Ride the RIPTA
Because someone built our campus on one big giant hill
17. Complain about URI Secure
I. Can’t.
18. Drink Razzbulls
Caffeine and sugar
19. Take AVS 101
The easiest class offered at URI
20. Hate on the football team
We only attend the Homecoming game for the tailgate
21. Get misdiagnosed from Health Services
You have a stomach ache? Here, have some codeine cough syrup.
22. Submit a URI Crush
“As long as I have a face (insert name here) has a seat.”
23. Ask “Hope or Butt”?
And know you’re talking about dining halls
24. Go to T’s
Mostly for the homefries and cute coffee mugs
25. Eat Butt Cream/Butt Nuggets
Delicioussssss
26. Steal things from the dining halls
And smuggle them into your dorm room to snack on later
27. Go to sh*tty Prov clubs freshman year
RIP Finnegan’s
28. Buy groceries at Stop & Shop
Awkward run-ins with someone you don’t want to talk to is sure to ensue
29. Never get back a security deposit
Sorry Mom and Dad
30. Learn the cut-throughs of Eastward to get to darties more efficiently
Can’t have the Gansett cops stop you with your plattys
31. Get towed from The Emporium
Then pay over $100 cash to the sketchiest company in business
32. Go to Newport for the St. Patty’s Day Parade
Not that you remember most of it
33. Get something pierced at the top of campus
It’s a mistake
34. Sabotage campus tours
*yells aggressively at tour guide*
35. Get Orange Stickers
A sure sign of a good time