It seems like every family gathering lately I’ve had to explain to someone why I don’t want kids. Yes, I know it might seem selfish, but I have my reasons. Kids are really expensive. Like hundreds of thousands of dollars expensive. Also, I don’t really want to be responsible for a human body other than my own. I’m already hard enough to handle. So I beg of you, please stop telling me I’ll change my mind.
I’ve always heard that your kids give your life meaning. Your grandchildren change your views on life every day. You know that someone will be there to take care of you when you’re old and grey. You’ll build a beautiful family that brings you pride. That’s all great, and I applaud everyone that’s done it! But that is not the life I want for myself.
I want to travel and make a difference in the world. I want to visit Sub-Saharan Africa and help build a well or a sand dam in a developing village – where would my kid be while I’m in the field? I want to create soundtracks for movies, television shows and documentaries – where would my kid go to school? New York or LA? I want to see as much of the world as humanly possible – will my kid be raised by a nanny while I’m off gallivanting around the world? I want to be that woman front and center in a rally for climate change – who will watch the kids while I’m chaining myself to a tree? I want to live my life to the fullest and be the best me I can be – in my eyes that life doesn’t involve children.
Sure, half of these scenarios may not even end up happening. Maybe I will change my mind and end up living in the suburbs of a big city with my own happy little family. I might watch my kids play in the backyard with their new puppy and seeing the joy on their faces on Christmas morning could be “my dream” someday. But for now, please let me live my current dreams. Let me want these crazy adventures and be an independent woman who wants nothing more than to save the environment and listen to crazy good music. For now, I’m 20 years old and more focused on my career goals than building a family; and that is just fine with me.