You and a few close friends have been planning to have a girl’s night out for weeks. The outfits are carefully put together, assignments were finished early, and you have no plans early the next day and can stay out until the wee hours of the morning.
Then, at the last minute, a friend backs out claiming to be sick.
A whirlwind of thoughts cascade through your mind. Did I do or say something to upset her? Is she angry with me over the light-hearted argument we had a few weeks ago? Did something happen between her and another friend?
Trying to be understanding, you and your friends plan to go out another night, just to have the same friend pull the “sick” card one more time. Now you begin to question your friendship further.
Let me stop this hypothetical scenario before it turns into a psychological study of friendships and hidden meanings and get to the main point — your friend may really be sick, even if you can’t always see the sickness with your own two eyes.
Having lived with multiple “hidden” illnesses for my entire life, I can honestly tell you that it is downright humiliating and frustrating to have to be that annoying friend who cancels plans at the last minute due to unforeseen sickness. Now, this sickness I’m talking about isn’t food poisoning or a clichéd way to get out of going places like school or work. No, these hidden illnesses can be any number of things, but I’ll use my own as examples: chronic migraines, gastric reflux, extreme fatigue, a weak immune system, etc… I’m not telling you all this to make you feel pity because, trust me, pity gets old very quickly. Instead, I hope to spread more awareness for sicknesses that aren’t common or easily understood.
If you were to learn that one of your friends has cancer, for instance, you would immediately understand the significance and would do everything you could to help and be gracious. However, if your friend is like me and hundreds of other college students, some of the illnesses may sound made-up, leading you to believe that we’re not truthful or are hiding something.
Honestly, I cannot count the number of times I stupidly wished I had cancer instead migraines or dizziness because, at least then, people would no longer look at me as if I was making excuses.
So, if you have a friend who seems to be constantly sick, please do not just assume they’re faking. Take the time to ask them how their health really is; since not many people think headaches and tiredness are actual signs of medical problems, we have become very good at hiding our symptoms. Personally though, I love when friends take the time to ask me how I really am and listen to my response since I know they care.
And that’s really the most important thing — showing your friends you care, even when you cannot see or understand their illness.