This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Sonoma chapter.

We all craved that first love kiss like the one Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray had in A Cinderella Story. They hit all the necessities in a first love kiss: high school tension, forbidden love, and of course that rockin kiss in the rain in front of a bunch of people. Of course we didn’t get to see the heartbreak that happens after that spark fizzles out because that would have ruined the “Nomad 609” middle school love affair. Because moving on from love is hard, and messy, and not movie-level picturesque. Therefore, the truth about moving on was never taught to us as little girls, and now we have to figure it out all by ourselves.

We have all been there, that soul crushing, ice-cream eating, painful break up that threatened to break us. Cinderella and all the happily ever afters in the world didn’t prepare us for first love and the pain that comes with the “one that was supposed to be forever.” All the fairytales and countless days we romanticized “the one” didn’t clue us into the reality that is love and the hurt it can cause. The romance movies left out the step-by-step guide of what to do when love isn’t enough and it’s time to pick yourself up and try to move on.

The truth about moving on is that it hurts, whether you were together a month, a year, or a longer period of time. “Painful” doesn’t begin to describe the process of moving on and letting go someone you used to find comfort in. What Disney didn’t tell us was in the first couple weeks, all you will want to eat is crackers, water, and maybe some ice cream that will make you feel sick later. The sleepless nights that make you want to stay in bed all day and miss some classes. The want to get “all dolled up” won’t actually feel like something you want to do.

Although you will go through many phases of your own individual process, it’s important to get to your “happy work in progress” phase. This phase is not necessarily healed but is accepting that everyday is a wave that deserves to be ridden out. This phase is a place you can explore your strength and even have some bad days. Bad days can be encouraged, because when you hit rock bottom, you can only push yourself to a better, stronger, and motivated version of you. People can always help you along your healing process but the ultimate level of healing is done when you help yourself get out of the rut that heartbreak can leave.

Healing looks different for everyone, and the most important thing to remember is that sometimes it’s okay to not be okay. When everyone is expecting you to get up, brush yourself off, and face the world; it’s cool to feel ready to crumble. The moments when we feel like we are about to break and push through the pain, are the moments when we test our true strength. We aren’t often told to cry it out, go in fetal position, and eat a bar of chocolate. Instead we are told (yes even as woman) to forget about the guy and move on to the next, as if it were that simple. As if we could heal that fast from the one who broke our heart. Healing is your own unique process and it is an ocean that will get easier to ride with time. Don’t rush yourself. You’re doing the best you can!

Post Break Up To Do List: http://www.hercampus.com/school/sonoma-state/post-breakup-do-list

Girls Night On a Budget: http://www.hercampus.com/school/sonoma-state/post-breakup-do-list

The Truth About Moving On

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