With Thanksgiving and Christmas right around the corner (I can’t believe Christmas is nine weeks away), it’s that time of the semester where homesickness finds its way into our stressed-out, sleep-deprived hearts. And so, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about “home”.
Whenever I picture home, it always looks some what the same. Hanging out with friends and family, talking about anything, playing board games, watching movies, etc. And I love spending time with my family, because not only do I come from a big family -I’m 22 and till this day, there’s always a few new faces at family events – but more than half of my family members are women. I know. It’s great and I love it. No really, I love it.
You see, I admire every single female in my family. They’re bold. And by that I mean they’re outspoken, highly opinionated and strong. Growing up, I was a shy kid, and whenever we would go to my grandparent’s house, I would sit in a rocking chair and watch how the grown ups interacted. These interactions were mostly of my mom, my aunts and my grandma, sitting around the table, talking about political issues, the economy, gossiping, pop culture and everything in between. My grandpa and uncles would join in from time to time, of course, but the moments where I got to see just the four of them interact were the best. I always saw them support one another, so naturally I grew up believing that women should be there for each other. To believe and encourage each other and when the time comes, to give each other advice or constructive criticism, but never tear each other down.
Growing up I would see my mom, sisters, aunts and cousins speak up and form an opinion about current events without feeling like their voices weren’t welcomed or unwanted. I think this is one of the reasons why I never understood high school drama. I’m not saying that I never got carried away, but whenever I would think about my actions or my friends, I would ask myself: Why? Why did it matter whether or not I liked the same boy that the girl that sat three rows from me did as well? Why did I care so much about the all the petty little things? To paint you a brighter picture, back in middle school I remember this very specific time where I was very dramatic. One day, I was freaking out because there was a new girl that came in the middle of the semester, and she happened to have the same name that I do. And for some unknown reason, I was losing it. I could not fathom the reason why God brought this girl into my life that not only had the same name I did, but we were also in the same classroom. I went as far as to asking my mom if she could talk to someone to see if they could place her in another classroom. Crazy, right? I just want to clarify that I am not proud of anything that 7th grade me did and I blame this insane behavior on a bad case of hormones and Taylor Swift. Anyways, that same week when we had a family dinner, I thought it would be nice to get some feedback on my life or death situation and you know what everyone told me? Every aunt, cousin, and sister I went to told me the same thing: Chill. Out.
You’re probably thinking that any man or woman could have given me this very obvious piece of advice, and you’re absolutely right. But I probably wouldn’t have listened if someone like my dad told me this. I probably would’ve screamed and would have told him he just didn’t get it. #Angsty. I still think about this moment whenever I can see myself getting pulled in by the drama llama and I find it’s a nice way to get perspective. A nice way to find a way to chill. out.
Growing up surrounded by women has 110% shaped me into being the person I am today. I love being surrounded by women. I think we have this amazing capability of being strong and vulnerable at the same time, and a lot of people underestimate this. People tend to forget we’re only human and we can only do so much. Hell, I even tend to forget that. This impossible standard that most of us set for ourselves always makes me think of my grandmother, who has 7 kids and managed to raise and educate all 7 of them while also going to school and working. Whenever I feel like giving up, I just think of her and summon all my inner strength and find a way to get back on track. The same goes for whenever I think or talk to my dad’s aunt, who I have to admit is one of my favourite people. She’s everything I’m not, honestly, but she’s also taught me to stop comparing myself to others.
The women in my life have taught me how to be strong, when and how to say no, and how to have my voice heard. I’ve learned that I don’t have to please everyone. I don’t have to set myself to this impossible standard of being something or someone different to everyone in my life. My mom has taught me that it’s ok to cry. My sisters have taught that it’s ok to feel a little lost sometimes. My aunts and cousins have taught me the importance of having my feet on the ground. But you know what’s the most important thing I’ve learned? The most important thing I’ve learned is that we all want more personal support from other women. Especially now a days, where the media and society are always trying to make us fit into different kinds of boxes. I’ve learned that when women come together, not only are they capable of amazing things, but there’s also an unbelievable sense of sisterhood and I swear that if more women had each other’s back, unicorns would come back to life and everyone would have perfect eyebrows.
So to all of you Collegiettes who feel like the concept of having a solid, big group of women be there for you is a little foreign, I encourage you to expand your horizons! And if you’re like me and love being surrounded by strong, independent women, then you understand me when I say that going anywhere always feels like you’re rolling out of a Beyoncé video.
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