Question: is it bad that I enjoy being alone?
Photo by Paola Chaaya on Unsplash
Is it worrisome? Does it make people feel uncomfortable? Because, I feel completely fine. Pretty much ever since elementary school, I’ve experienced periods of social silence, meaning that I went for months and months without pursuing any friendships. I sat alone during lunch breaks, opting to read quietly rather than search for a new group of friends and, eventually, that became comfortable for me. In fact, I couldn’t really imagine getting on any other way. Moving around a few times made me the ‘new girl’ most of the time and it was mentally exhausting to try and fit into pre-existing social circles, so I formed a comfortable bubble for me, myself and I. Was this a healthy course of action? Perhaps not, but somehow, distancing myself from everyone else made me feel in control of my life. Of course, at times, it was embarrassing to be sitting alone while a group of classmates chatted nearby, it was even more embarrassing when people would ask me why I was alone in the first place. Being asked if I was ok during these times was a thoughtful gesture but it was also a bit aggravating and saddening. Was enjoying my own company such a bad thing? Yeah, sometimes it got lonely but I couldn’t tell whether I wanted someone to be around just so I could look more social or if I actually wanted someone to talk to.
 Now, this is no sad story by any means. It took some time but eventually I made wonderful friends that remain important people in my life to this day. Making friends has often been a slow process for me but I think the time that I spent alone helped me figure out how to feel comfortable with myself enough to reach out to others. I was able to know what I enjoyed and what kind of social energy I needed in my life. Not to mention the fact that I was able to avoid a lot of petty school drama when I was hidden inside a good book. Even though being alone often gets a bad rap, I think that it’s possible to find strength and peace of mind in solitude. The key is to find a good balance for yourself!
 Now I’m in university and I’m still slow on the social scene but I’ve learned to trust my gut when it comes to friendships. Who cares if I’m not good at making friends within moments? I want my friendships to be real and meaningful, not just tools used to boost my social image. Making friends is a great thing but being alone doesn’t have to be a bad thing either. If anything, I feel like my alone time gives me a chance to figure out who I am and what kind of people I really want in my life. At the end of the day, I think being able to find a good support system amongst friends is essential to a happy and healthy lifestyle and spending some time alone is part of that as well.  Having a social life means different things for different people and I certainly have no regrets with how I’ve handled my social life so far. How about you?
Thanks for reading! :)Â