It’s safe to say that the characters in Stranger Things have been through a lot. Children disappearing, a fake corpse, a monster who can come through the wall from another dimension… you name it, they’ve seen it. Little did they know that with the help of the Her Campus Survival Kit, they could have had a much easier time as they battled the Demogorgon during their search for Will.
First of all, if Will had the Wearsafe Tag, he would have been able to push a button and – BOOM- his friends would have gotten an alert saying he was in trouble and been sent his location. They could have called the cops and gotten out to Will’s house before the Demogorgon turned off all the lights and kidnapped him.
Mike and the gang needed to make Eleven look like a girl ASAP before anyone started asking questions. Sure, the dress they found worked and the wig was good temporarily, but a good pair of L’eggs tights would have kept Eleven warmer in the cold fall weather. Instead of the old makeup Mike found in Nancy’s jewelry box, he should have used Rimmel London products to give Eleven a more convincing, fresher look. No one would have questioned makeup on a 12 year old.
Okay, so making a girl look pretty is one thing… but what the heck was Mike supposed to do now that he had to hide her in his house? He should have read The Roommate Book by Becky Simpson, but any roomie that brings the other Eggos is a good roommate in our book. Plus, he gets bonus points for building her a blanket fort. Who doesn’t love forts?
Barb was just as good of a friend as Mike was. She tried to show Nancy that Steve was kind of a jerk, but let Nancy make her own decisions without judgement. Yes, subtle shade was thrown, but Barb had a good heart. Who else besides a best friend would call you out for wearing a new bra to see a boy you want to hook up with? We just hope it was a cute and comfortable bra from Maidenform‘s extensive collection and that she had some Monistat for after… just in case. Hey, a woman’s health is important.
Nancy may have been a sweet girl just looking for love, but who lets their injured, best friend sit outside while they shack up with their boo? (Steve’s even worse, but we don’t have time for that discussion right now.) Nancy could have stopped Barb from cutting herself if she gave her a koozie from Flying Colors Apparel and told her to drink a beer like a civilized human being instead of risking injury by shotgunning one. A koozie would have meant no injury or blood, which would have meant Barb never would’ve been taken. So is Nancy responsible for Barb’s death? Probably.
While Jonathan didn’t suffer the same fate as Barb, he definitely didn’t have it easy. He dealt with having a missing brother, a mom who spent all her future paychecks on Christmas lights, a crush on a girl who fell for a guy with better hair, fighting an alien demon that left a hole in his house, and having an absentee father who should have realized that Adulting is a Myth was a satirical book rather than something to take literally. It’s okay Jonathan, we love you.
Speaking of Jonathan, his mom needed to relax. I’m not going to pretend that I know how it feels to have a child go missing in another dimension, but after he was back home, she deserved a spa day with some Freeman Beauty face masks. All that worrying causes wrinkles darling, you have to pamper your skin.
The ONE guy who gets anything done in this town is Chief Hopper. Dude knows what’s up. It was a rocky beginning, but once he realized there was something bigger going on, the guy didn’t sleep. A Camelbak Forge Divide travel thermos full of coffee would have been the perfect item for Hopper to have to keep him awake while he was creeping around the facility or on his trips into the woods to leave food for (hopefully) Eleven.
So the next time you’re in a small town in Indiana, make sure to bring all of these fabulous items as they might just save your life.