I hate the looks on people’s faces when I say that I am married. Don’t even get me started on the questions that people ask.Yes, I am young. No, I am not pregnant, and yes, I am sure that he is the one. I see posts all over the internet that tell girls that your twenties is for having fun, not serious relationships. I have even seen women put others down for getting married young. Each person has a different view on what the right age to get married is. Heck, I was one of those girls that thought I wouldn’t settle down until my early thirties. I probably looked down on a few girls once or twice for rushing into marriage, but I know now that you shouldn’t judge a relationship or marriage based on someone’s age. I’m deeply in love with the man I married, and we got married because we were ready to start our lives together. After being together for four and a half years, we just didn’t see the point in waiting anymore, and I am so glad that we did things the way that we wanted. Being married this young has taught me so many different things, and here are just a few of them.
1. Being married doesn’t mean you can’t have fun.
To all those internet posts saying that being in a relationship in your twenties takes away from the fun times you should be having–you’re wrong. Nothing is wrong with being single in your twenties! I am not dissing on you single girls. Enjoy it! Dance! Take that tequila shot! But I say the exact same thing to people in a relationship! Just because you are married or in a committed relationship doesn’t mean the fun has to stop. I have dated my husband for all of college, and it never stopped me from having fun with my girlfriends. I still go out all the time. I still have my crazy drunken nights with my friends, and at the end of the night, I get to come home to my husband. Sometimes he is there with me, getting just as crazy as I am. Sometimes he is out with his own friends, and sometimes we are both at home getting crazy together. I promise that we aren’t some crazy alcoholics that go to bars all the time! We stay in a lot, but we do know how to have fun. We are young, and being married doesn’t change that. I get to experience my twenties (and the rest of my life) with someone that understands me and encourages me to be myself and to have fun.
2. What others think doesn’t matter.
This took me some time to learn. I have always worried about what others think, whether it has to deal with my haircut, clothes, etc. Marriage is no different. I was engaged for two whole days, and then we decided to elope. It wasn’t traditional, but we had it planned out for months. I was really scared to tell people at first because I knew that they would judge. Heck, I probably would have judged me too. I soon realized that I didn’t need to worry about what others thought about me. I was so insanely happy to be starting my life with my husband. I decided that other opinions didn’t matter and that our relationship to each other was most important. Getting worked up about what a second cousin twice removed, or an old high school friend that I haven’t talked to in months was a waste of my time. No matter how old you are, or what your relationship status is, it is important to know that at the end of the day the only opinion that matters is your own. Do what makes YOU happy and the rest will fall into place.
3. Relationships are hard work, but they are worth it.
I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that marriage is easy. No matter your age, or length of relationship, there is always going to be work that you have to put in. I was with my husband for years before we got married, and I was so surprised that there were so many little things I had to get used to when we moved in together. We have a strong relationship, but it took a lot of time to get there, and we are still working on it. Being married doesn’t mean that you have everything perfectly figured out. We are still growing up, but we are doing it together. There have been times that I just wanted to take the easy road and give up, I wanted to hop in my car and drive away and not look back. Okay, I know that is a little extreme but I’m a dramatic person, and when I’m upset I just walk away because it is easy. But when it comes to my husband, it’s not easy. He is the person I want to run to when things get tough. Sometimes I need my space, but I know that giving up isn’t even an option. Not just because we are married, but because we love each other. Despite the small arguments and little quirks that bug me, he is the person that I want to be with. He has made me a better person, and our relationship is strong because neither of us gives up on each other when things get a little tough.
The list could go on, but being married at twenty-two has taught me so much. I’ve grown up in so many different ways, but I have also stayed true to myself. My marriage has only made my twenties better. I get to have the same experiences as other college students, and I get to do it all with my best friend by my side.