We’re back! Since our last Game of Thrones/Hopkins article was so appreciated, we decided to bring back the world of Westeros into our lovely campus, and this time apply it directly to the frats. Here’s our comprehensive list of which Westerosi house fits best with each fraternity.
(Disclaimer: This is all in good fun. Our goal is to make you laugh. We love all of Hopkins’ frats, and if you feel offended… get over yourself.)
Beta: House Stark of Winterfell
The nice guy frat, the guys you want to bring home to your grandma… and they also would definitely be the first to die in this world.
Wawa: House Baratheon of Storm’s End
The big, loud, drunk guys. This one is pretty self-explanatory.
AePi: House Tully of Riverrun
Lysa Tully was really just an offensive stereotype about a Jewish mom.
SAE: House Martell of Dorne
You just know Oberyn Martell is sitting in their house right now adding poison to his spear, don’t even pretend he’s not.
Sig Chi: House Arryn of the Vale
They died before the show even started.
Phi Delt: King’s Landing peasants
We don’t really think they have a house…. They’re just the people of King’s Landing who keep getting fucked because all the other houses are assholes.
Phi Psi: House Targaryen of Dragonstone
Some of them are really chill, and the other ones when they get drunk would definitely think it’s funny to set something on fire.
Pike: House Bolton of the Dreadfort
Stabbing, flaying, same deal.
Fiji: House Tyrell of Highgarden
Flowery and preppy… also everyone who fights for House Tyrell is definitely high all the time.
SigEp: House Frey of the Crossing
You know, thinking you’re super tough and then getting murdered by a little girl.
Elmos: House Lannister of Casterly Rock
The wealth and drunkenness of these brothers makes this pretty obvious. And they’re the most likely to be fucking their sisters.