Dear Asha,
You may not know it now, but just because you’ve graduated, it doesn’t mean you have all your shit together, and that’s okay. I know you thought that you would have everything figured out by the time you walked across that stage with the silk gown brushing against your legs and the itchy cap ruining your hairdo, but you won’t. I know you replayed that moment over and over again in your head awaiting the moment when you would feel certain about every aspect of your life. The truth is you won’t, and you never will.
Trust me when I tell you your confidence will get worse before it gets better, so please do me a favour and stop looking for imperfections in yourself; it is only human to have them. Regardless of what anyone, and I mean anyone has to say about the way you look, you cannot not let that taint or tarnish the way you feel about yourself.
At some point and time down the line, either due to early university stress or the overall nature of most anxious students, you are going to start to believe that your marks dictate your self worth. You are going to start to believe that the university that accepts you, the program you choose, and your GPA are the only way you can define yourself. That couldn’t be further from the truth. You will hit some dark days, but know that you are not alone.
When you cry yourself to sleep, wondering why that boy treated you so badly or why the next one barely noticed you; know that you don’t need either of them to validate you. Common societal trends and pop culture will lead you to believe that you are incomplete without a man, thus causing you and countless of your other single friends to feel inadequate, empty, and ultimately worthless. Relying on someone else to validate your self worth is just as ridiculous as relying on the Game of Thrones’ writers not to kill off all of your favourite characters.
Eventually you are going to start to realize that peer pressure does exist; it will affect just about every aspect of your life. You will be surrounded by a mass of people who will indirectly influence the way you act, the clothes you wear, and the choices you make. Even when you feel the subconscious urge to march along with the masses and to blend into the norm of grey matter, don’t do it with both eyes closed. Following what others expect of you is like modifying your quirks and the uneven corners of your personality, and mowing it over to make one homogenous, flat surface.
All in all, it is nothing like the television shows. If there is anything I could possibly leave you with, it’s this: stay as authentically close to yourself as possible. The only person that is preventing you from the things you want to be and do is the face staring back at you in the mirror.