Today, dating is more complicated than ever. We no longer date but instead, we “talk”. We have “almost” relationships where an ideal date is “Netflix and chill” and commitment is harder to find than a sunny day in Erie. Why are we like this? Our dating culture is nothing like it use to be.
We are: The generation that is afraid to get hurt.
Nowadays, you can go online and talk to a million different people all at once. The real kicker here is that you could also be in a committed relationship with someone while they have no idea that you are “talking” to other people. Technology is our kryptonite. It opens doors for communication but also for being unfaithful. It all comes down to a matter of trust which you don’t give out like free queso at Moe’s. Other generations didn’t have this issue because communication didn’t have the advances in technology like today. Communication then consisted of phone calls, throwing rocks at windows, or writing love letters/emails. People were forced to go outside of their comfort zone and put more effort into dating.
So what defines a relationship? You can be “talking” to someone which means you may just communicate with that person over texting. It could also mean that you are exclusive with them, but you two are not officially together. Correct me if I am wrong, but that sounds like dating. Dating doesn’t necessarily mean you are tied down to that one person – despite our generation thinking that it does. But really, it means you are actively getting to know a person through spending time with them. You both are figuring out if you are a potential match through face-to-face communication and opening up. Letting someone in and having them see you vulnerable is scarier than The Conjuring. No one wants to get hurt, but we have to choose the ones who are worth getting hurt for. This wall you have up can be bigger than the Great Wall of China, but you have to put some effort into tearing it down. While dating, you will only be hurting yourself if you continuously keep your guard up.
Dating does have different connotations for everyone, but what really hurts us is that we don’t voice our differences. Our generation, the millennial generation, is very apprehensive when it comes to spending time with someone we are interested in. We would rather get to know someone at our own pace and on our own time. We would rather connect with a person through our phones because it will hurt more if we get too close too fast. We want to use technology to keep ourselves at a safe distance, yet it is the ultimate inhibitor.
It isn’t until someone asks to be in a relationship where things become more concrete.
Even after getting into an official relationship, things can still be complicated. And with technology, we have social media. Who says you have to promote your relationship online by changing your status to “in a relationship” on Facebook? Our society does. We feel the need to show everyone how happy we are in our relationship, in fear that someone may come in and snatch our significant other.
As I said earlier, we are the generation that is afraid to get hurt so we build up a wall and hide behind our phones. We need to put the phone down and focus on what’s in front of us. Everyone has fears, but we don’t always voice our fears. Having open communication is what our generation needs and is what past generations had. We need more face time and less FaceTime. So colliegettes, help change our dating culture by simply putting the phone down.