Us English majors are a rare breed of human. Shakespeare is our bestie, we speak in literary quotes and are shameless grammar correctors. Here are just a few of the weird habits all English majors can’t help but relate to.
1. You have a ridiculous book collection that you’re super excited to show off to everyone.
2. You and your fellow English majors have a literary inspired group chat. “Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner” transformed to Texts of the Ancient Mariner.
3. You’re also a regular literary Tweeter, and you can’t be stopped.
4. You only text in complete sentences. Using that texting lingo would sully your good English name, and it makes you CRAZY when people abbreviate everything!
5. There’s always that one author you are creepily obsessed with, and you will defend their work till the day you die.
6. There’s also that one professor you are weirdly obsessed with. Like, you intellectually want to bang them.
7. You can’t help but over-analyze everything to find it’s deeper meaning. Turning on a light switch is so much more than turning on a light switch, it’s the illumination of a soul in the dark.
8. Shmoop is bae and you read their book descriptions just for funsies.
9. You can’t help but shamelessly correct your friends when they speak with poor grammar.
10. You had a brief stint of changing your major to poetry, but changed it back once you realized you’ll never be Walt Whitman.
11. You constantly use “I’m an English major” as an excuse for being bad at pretty much every other subject.
12. You’ve bragged about reading in Old English (despite the fact that you didn’t understand a word of it).
13. You confide in your friends about you secret plan to move to the English Lake District and live as Coolridge and Wordsworth did. You do this so often it’s not really a secret.
14. The best part of the semester is going to your professor’s house to drink wine and discuss literature with them as a final exam.
15. You are automatically a little bit attracted to other English majors.
16. Halloween is your favorite holiday because it means you get to dress with literary inspiration. This year you’re thinking of going as “The Yellow Wallpaper.”
17. You have an elitist sense of pride about reading Jane Austen’s Persuasion because everybody else has only read Pride and Prejudice.
18. You can’t help but use literary quotes in conversation. “Hey, how is your relationship with your boyfriend going?” “Quoth the raven, nevermore.”
19. You and your friends have countless inside jokes from that one weird time you had to read a bunch of Puritan lit. Remember Cotton Mathers? HA!
20. You’re prone to loud outbursts when you feel especially strongly about something you’re reading.
21. You insist you won’t live a life of poverty and that your degree is actually useful.
