Being an upperclassman has few joys, actually there are only two – first, you’re probably legal to go to the bars which has been making weekends a lot easier lately, and second, soon you can talk about Towson as a fond memory rather than the nightmare of dining hall food, parking and enrollment issues that it really is.
Liberal arts majors everywhere, not just at Towson, can all unite around the fact that the papers that we’re all writing (or should be writing) right now are the absolute bane of our existence. Even if you like to write there is something about writing twenty pages on the political participation rates of impoverished minority groups across American history with thirty sources cited in an endnotes format that professor made up that just kills you a little inside.
You may have felt yourself go through the five stages of writing a term paper before. It’s an emotionally taxing process, and pretty similar to other hard trials in life. I know I feel like a lose a tiny part of myself every time I have to crank out fifteen pages of nonsense…by 8 a.m. when it’s already midnight! Seriously, how did this happen again?!
1. Denial – I haven’t looked at the syllabus in weeks. I skipped class last week to window shop at a craft store and eat at Grilled Cheese & Co. Blackboard notifications are for the weak willed. Everything is fine. There are seven…five…three weeks…two days of the semester left!
2. Anger – Oh my god, this professor expects way too much! I have other classes! How am I supposed to do all this work for one professor when I literally have four other classes? It’s dumb that this is even required for my major. Honestly what jack ass made American Political Thought a requirement for the Law & American Civilization major? I am trashcan for procrastinating this long.
3. Bargaining – Frantically showing up to class and attempting to negotiate the due date after you and two other people admit to not having started is a really effective strategy. Bring up the snow days we missed in January that pushed everything back. Now you’re really holding the right cards.
4. Depression – I have thirty things to do to prepare this paper so I am going to stare at the ceiling. Great, now I’m crying. I was crying about this paper, but now I’m also crying about my major, my complexion and the way my hair color has been washing out. I’m not going to move for two days. At least.
5. Acceptance – It’s 1 a.m. This is due in seven hours, I need to do it now if I’m even going to take an hour nap before class. It’s time. This is what I have to do, shout out to coffee for making this process possible for yet another semester!