The 7 Stages of Telling Someone You Like Them

Collegiettes, the countdown has officially begun: the final weeks of the semester are here! And that means last minute get-togethers with friends, cramming for final exams, and anxiously awaiting the relaxing days of summer. But hold on one moment- You know that one person you’ve had a crush on all year? You’ve had a few hot hookups with them here and there, and you always had a great time hanging out with them, whether it’s going out to dinner or even to baseball games (essentially, they were dates without the title of “dates,” right?). Regardless, the days of just casually hanging out with your crush are winding down and you have every right to freak out. How are you both supposed to keep in touch over the summer? How are you to keep that spark going with them? Do you tell them you like them?! *gasps*

Stage 1: Realization

So you decide you like them, but you’re kind of starting to doubt yourself. Are they really S.O. material or are you just infatuated by their jaw-dropping looks? Are you really into them? Nevertheless, there is always some sign or divine intervention that will appear, confirming that your feelings for them are true, and you’ll feel so happy about that realization, it’s like you’re on cloud nine.

Stage 2: Indecisiveness

Let’s be real, the thought of confessing your feelings has crossed your mind at least once or twice this year (or maybe a few dozen times…but who’s counting?!). You’ve thought about every possible outcome if you do decide to tell them, and you’ve thought of every possible outcome if you decide not to tell them. One day you’re ready to walk right up to them and the next day, you act as if that statement never crossed your mind. We know, it is a hard decision to make, and it takes time to reach such a monumental decision.

Stage 3: Planning

You always have to go in prepared knowing what you want to say, what you want to do, and how the conversation might go. You don’t want to be caught off guard by anything: look at this conversation from every side possible! You also want to look poised and natural when going into this- So make a plan, but don’t get too crazy. There’s no need to plan out an elaborate five paragraph speech, but plan out how you’re going to start the conversation, and go from there. Are you going to be blunt and direct or elusive and shy? Plan, plan, plan.

Stage 4: Obsession

You think about this constantly: their face, their eyes, their laugh, their smile. And you think about how the conversation is going to go: is it going to be like a scene in a romance movie or is it going to be your worst nightmare? You’re beyond the point of crushing on them: you want to be more than friends. They’re on your mind 24/7, and there is nothing wrong with that! When you like someone, it’s totally okay to be a little…well, moderately obsessive.

Stage 5: Denial

You start going through every reason why not to like this person. Every ounce in your body is telling you that they don’t like you, and to be honest, it is a lot easier to convince yourself of that than to build up hope, only for it to get crushed down. This denial stage gets the best of us. We all do it for our own protection and defense. In case they actually don’t like us, we’re at least prepared for the brutal blow.

Stage 6: Panic

Weeks turn into days and days turn into hours, and soon enough, the semester is almost over, and it’s almost time for you to tell them. You start freaking out and panicking. And you know what? You have every right to! This is nerve-wracking stuff! Go ahead and panic, let it all out! It’ll probably make you feel better before having ‘the talk’ with them.

Stage 7: Showtime!

The moment of truth is here. The question you’ve had for practically the whole school year is finally about to get an answer (hopefully). You’re finally going to face the elephant in the room. Try to act simple and friendly, but try not to let your fear and nervousness slip by. Act natural, yet confident.Take the initiative and take control of leading the conversation. You ask the questions, let them do the answering.

Keep in mind that you and your crush started off as friends. Something like this shouldn’t affect your friendship, and you should definitely make that clear! No matter what your crush’s answer is, just remember that sometimes it is better to let someone know about your true feelings than to leave things unsaid. Who knows? You might not even see your crush again after the end of the semester. No matter the circumstances, tell someone you like them because you want to: this is something you shouldn’t feel obliged to do with the semester coming to an end. Best of luck, collegiettes, and I promise you, all will be okay in the end. 

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• college
• crush
• relationships