Confession time: I’m what some might call a “Grammar Nazi.” I am like that dreaded friend who trawls your Facebook feed looking for comments to correct, probably out of some misplaced sense of superiority, except I do it in real life so I’m even worse. The truth is, for most people reading this, English is your native language. Given that only 18% of Americans can speak a second language, we should put forth the effort to speak our own language as well as possible. If you disagree with me, you might be a descriptivist, while I am a prescriptivist, and here’s a fun video to tell you why you’re right. So here’s a list of words that you’re confusing for other words (and don’t worry, I’m not going to harp on the usual homonyms. If you don’t know the difference between affect and effect by now, I can’t help you).
- Graduate vs. Was Graduated vs. Graduated From
Let’s say I have a friend named Patrick. Patrick calls me one day and tells me he has graduated high school but does not want to go to college. Being the passive-aggressive jerk I am, I tell Patrick he should consider college so that he would know that he was graduated or that he graduated from high school.
When in doubt: Remember that when institution graduates you, you graduate from it.
2. Convince vs. Persuade
Patrick didn’t graduate from college, so he is unhappy with his job and he calls me up so we can brainstorm new career ideas for him. I say, “Hey Patrick, you would make a great circus clown!” Patrick doesn’t think that’s true, so I tell him, “You’re funny, you rock that squeaky red nose, and you already carry a seltzer bottle in your back pocket.” Patrick tells me I’m right; this means I have convinced him of the idea that he would make a good circus clown. Then I say, “Why don’t you go to that awesome Clown College down in Florida?” At first Patrick says, “No way! I’m not moving to Florida. Besides, Clown College is expensive.” After we talk about it for a while longer, Patrick has made the decision to move to Florida and attend Clown College because I have persuaded him to do so.
When in doubt: You can convInce someone of an Idea, and you can persuAde someone to take Action.
3. Aggravated vs. Annoyed/Irritated/Agitated
Two things: One, I had never heard anyone mix up these words before I moved to the South but two, the misuse is so common that some dictionaries have added the incorrect meaning to their definitions (the same way Merriam-Webster and the Cambridge Dictionary gave up and added “figuratively” as a meaning for “literally”). Aggravate does not mean annoy, or irritate, or agitate; aggravate means to worsen, as in “the cold aggravated his condition.” Patrick has to do an interview with the Clown College before he can be accepted, and he lets me know after how it went. He tells me that the interviewer was aggravating, but you, dear reader, know that the clown who interviewed him was annoying.
When in doubt: In the sentence you’re about to say, replace aggravate with worsen; if it no longer makes sense, pick a different word.
4. Comprise vs. Compose
Patrick was accepted to Clown College, and we are going over his class schedule for his first semester. He tells me his schedule is comprised of 3 in-class courses and 3 practical courses. I say, “No man, your schedule is composed of those courses. Those courses comprise your schedule!” I tell him that because “is comprised of” is not a proper construct. I encourage you to read more here.
When in doubt: There really isn’t one. You just need to learn and implement the rules specific to this set of words.
5. Less vs. Fewer
A month or so into the semester, I ask Patrick how everything is going. He tells me he is doing well in all of his courses except one; he’s struggling in juggling. To pass the course, he has to juggle at least six things at once for at least a minute. He says that he can only juggle for a full minute if he is juggling less than five things at once. You and I both know that he means fewer because he can count those items.
When in doubt: Is it an individual entity you can count? Fewer. Bulk items or uncountables? Less.
6. Tragedy vs. Travesty
Patrick calls me from Clown College with some terrible news: One of his classmates ended up being allergic to cream pies and had a horrible reaction, forcing him to drop out and return to his job as an accountant. Patrick says, “It’s such a travesty, he was one of the best in the school.” Travesty means “a false or absurd representation of something,” so while clowns themselves may be a travesty, what happened to Patrick’s classmate is actually a tragedy (albeit a small one).
When in doubt: If you intend to use travesty in a sentence, first replace it with “farce.” If it no longer makes sense, you’re using the wrong word. Remember: a natural disaster is never a travesty.
7. Nauseous vs. Nauseated
Patrick successfully finished his first semester, and now he gets to learn how to ride a unicycle. Unfortunately, he has a bit of an inner ear problem, and riding that unicycle makes him feel a little queasy. He tells me, “I get nauseous every time I get on that thing!” He’s not quite right though, because he’s nauseated every time he rides the unicycle. “Nauseous” is like “precious”; it describes the thing that is making you feel nauseated.
When in doubt: Are you feeling queasy? You’re nauseated. Are you making other people feel queasy? Then you’re nauseous.
8. Was vs. Were
It’s finally time for Patrick’s clown internship, and he sent me a picture of his first birthday party. I respond with “I wish I was there!” Patrick calls to scold me because I should know better; I wish I were there. “Were” is based on mood and Clown College taught Patrick proper grammar along with how to fit twenty people in a tiny car. I say, “You’re right, and if it weren’t for Clown College you wouldn’t have known!”
When in doubt: If your sentence is wishful, say “were.”
Like with all of my articles, this list is nowhere near exhaustive. If you’re still interested in more, however, I would recommend reading up on the following: further vs. farther, proved vs. proven, electrocuted vs. shocked and got vs. have.
Photo Credits:
https://oblogmenoslidodomundo.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/english_is_dead.jpg
http://www.funnyjunk.com/channel/funny/For+the+grammar+nazis/dmeMGqz
http://www.campusghanta.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/google-grammar-nazi-275341.jpeg
https://msstotts.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/grammar-comic-9.png
http://uberhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/PrOlQ.jpg
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md8kkzxQZr1r2rxth.jpg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-E7zmQ60KnR8/T80C0p3t-VI/AAAAAAAAAA8/-HtUoFJEekU/s1600/10items.jpg
http://hellogiggles.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/18/Do-not-think-it-means.jpeg
http://www.owlandbear.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/silly-590×444.jpg
http://s4.scoopwhoop.com/anj/Grammar_nerds29/707769335.jpg
http://new2.fjcdn.com/pictures/My+life+as+a+grammar+nazi_faf991_3386707.jpg