At some point or another, almost every collegiette faces the feeling that she needs someone else to be happy or to make her feel like she is worth something. It can be very reassuring to have another person there for you to tell you how important or smart or beautiful or whatever it may be that you are. This reliance can sometimes be so overwhelming that you can feel lost without it. If it is taken away, you may no longer be able to function properly and be happy on your own. This is obviously very problematic, because people come and go. The only person you can fully rely on to always be there for you is yourself, so you need to have the strength and confidence to know that you are enough.
This problem applies to friendships, relationships, or even just doing anything alone. A lot of people fear doing things on their own, because they feel as though they might be judged. Although you may think that this doesn’t apply to you, just think about all of the times you’ve absolutely needed a friend to come to the bathroom with you, just so you’re not alone. Although people tend to think of themselves as very self-sufficient and independent, in many instances this does not hold true, for even the most trivial of things. In the world we exist in, girls especially are often made to feel that without constantly being around other people, they are not as important. At the end of the day, throughout all of the S.O.’s, friends, and even acquaintances, you only have yourself, and you should be the primary source of your own strength and happiness. This can be a hard thing to do, because whether you realize it or not, chances are that for a good amount of your life, you have based at least some of your happiness on the approval and support of others. However, it isn’t hard to become the strong and independent woman that everyone wants to be.
The first thing you need to do in order to let go of your reliance on other people is to figure out where exactly this insecurity stems from. Whether it be social situations, decision-making, or just your overall happiness, you need to locate the root of the reliance. Once you recognize this, it becomes a lot simpler to move on and become as strong as you are capable of being. You are a lot stronger than you may realize and are perfectly capable of being self-sufficient and, most importantly, happy without someone else being there to help you out. Every morning, wake up, look at yourself in the mirror, and remind yourself that you are a strong, beautiful, and capable woman, and no matter what anyone else says, thinks, or suggests to you, this will still always be true. You have accomplished so much in your life up to this point, whether you realize it or not, all on your own. Use this reassurance to remind yourself that you don’t need someone else to help you through good times, bad times, and everything else in between. You’ve gotten to this point in life with other people by your side, but you are responsible for your success. As Christopher Robin once said in Winnie the Pooh, “Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”