Why Your “Number” Doesn’t Matter

The phrase “slutty college years” is something that I have personally heard thrown around on several occasions; it is a phrase used in pop culture, but it is also often said in ordinary conversation. 

 

It’s no secret that sex is devalued in the college atmosphere—not just the act itself but on an emotional level as well. Due to the “hookup culture” and the attitudes that come with it, the emotional attachment of sex is essentially stripped (no pun intended). 

 

But, that’s not to say everyone is sleeping with everyone and anyone—in fact, this is really not the case at all. 

 

Throughout my experience in college thus far with the partying or hookup scene specifically, I have found that it is really up to me to decide what I want to do, or not do, with my body. And in my opinion, this is how it should be. 

 

 

I really have never understood this idea that a certain connotation comes with our “number.” Why can’t people just do what they wish with their bodies and others respect that? It’s as if there is some battle between being labeled a socially-deemed “slut” or a “prude” who actually makes the “right” choices with their body. 

 

But here’s the thing: There is no right choice. 

 

At some point we are all going to end up with one person. And maybe this is just the way I see it but, if that person is “the one,” it shouldn’t matter if I have slept with no one or a superfluous amount of people.

 

My advice for women would be to just respect yourself. Have sex for the right reasons and refrain from sex for the right reasons. You should be sleeping with someone either out of love or maybe just because it feels good, but not for attention or to momentarily experience love. At the same time, not having sex to portray yourself as innocent really isn’t the right reason either. I have noticed this a lot in college as well—a lot of women abstain from sex to make themselves more attractive to men. 

 

I am by no means saying everyone should be fine and participate in casual sex—that is not my opinion what-so-ever. Moreover what I feel is that people should be less judgmental of the decisions we make with our bodies. Men should not judge women for the amount of men they have slept with and quite frankly women should not judge men for the amount of partners that they have had as well. As long as an individual is respectful of their partner and of themselves, I don’t see why our “number” matters or has some sort of reflection on our personality.