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12 Signs that She’s Actually STRAIGHT

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at MSU chapter.

 

We know that her short haircut and love for Orange is the New Black seems like a dead-giveaway, but assuming she’s gay when she’s not can get a little awkward. In case of emergency, here are some signs that she’s actually straight:

 

1. She prefers watching men’s basketball.

Sure, men’s games are exciting, but we KNOW she’d prefer the ladies if she really played for Team Gay.

 

2.  She loves The Bachelor.

If she were gay, all of The Bachelor’s straight couples would make her angry, not obsessed.

 

3. She wears acrylic nails.

No further explanation necessary.

 

4. Emily isn’t her favorite Pretty Little Liar.

What true gay girl doesn’t have a soft spot for Emily? Answer: NONE

 

 

5. You’re her only gay friend.

If you’re the only queer girl she knows, this is a red flag that she doesn’t swim in the lady pool.

 

6. She’s in a sorority.

While some of us might Go Greek, most of us prefer staying away from that many straight girls at one time. (It’s too dangerous!)

 

7. She can’t list at least three gay female celebs.

If Ellen Page, Cara Delevingne and Ruby Rose don’t come right to her mind, you know she’s straight. If she only says Miley Cyrus, chances are still 50/50 .

 

8. She doesn’t belt out Katy Perry’s, “I Kissed a Girl.”

You know you can’t resist singing along to this catchy lady-lovin’ song. She shouldn’t be able to resist either.

 

 

9. She plays volleyball.

We know that if she plays softball, field hockey or rugby, she’s still in the running. But if she plays volleyball, she’s probably disqualified.

 

10. She doesn’t know what happened on June 26, 2015.

If she doesn’t know that the Supreme Court ruled gay marriage legal in all 50 states on this day, she’s 100% straight.

 

11. She never wished that things went further when Malika kissed Khloe on the Kardashians.  

We were beyond excited when we thought Malika had a girl-crush on Khloe. If she thought the kiss was as weird as Khloe did, she doesn’t like girls.

 

12. She doesn’t get excited over rainbow-colored items.

If she doesn’t find pride in rainbow apparel, she’s probably not the LB in LGBT.

 

If you find one or more of these signs to be true, we suggest that you stay FAR AWAY because straight girls will always break your heart!  

Feminist | Editor | Lesbian