I say “healthy student” in quotation marks because inevitably there are very few who do actually exist. They stick to their meal plans, stick to their guided daily amount of alcoholic units and have an exercise regime that runs like clockwork.
But lets face it, we can’t all be worthy of that title, especially with the accessibility to mid-week night binges, take always on every corner and year long discount vouchers for Domino’s.
And so I present to you four examples of the “healthy student”.
1) The one who is ALWAYS in Hallward and has prepared a perfectly good falafel salad for lunch 5 days a week.
Sure, they may have their mid-week regime down to a T, but come Friday they will 100% be in Ocean, spending £30 on double vodka cokes and completing the night creeping through Broadmarsh to the nearest McDonalds to purchase a 6 McChicken Nugget Meal with a free NUS Cheeseburger. Or at least we hope so!
2) The one who sticks to diet plan portions of predominantly meat and vegetables with only a fingertip allowance of carbs
Truth is, no one can survive off one potato a day, so is it really surprise when you can hear your housemate sneaking downstairs at 11.00pm to bake up some pre-cooked Pizza Express doughballs. You cannot fool me healthy student- I can tell that garlic’y aroma from a mile away.
3) The one who thinks that not buying ‘junk food’ with their weekly shop will stop them from eating it altogether.
LIEEEEEESSS! We all know you’ll be doing the 10.45pm dash to Sainsbury’s to get your weekly fix of chocolate, popcorn and ice cream before the store shuts at 11.00pm.
4) The “2 hour gym session, check. Post gym cheat meal, check.”
Everyone’s heard of the occasional ‘cheat meal’ had by those who are on strict slimming world and high protein diets. But there is always that one person who claims that a cheat meal consists of 2 Vegetable Samosa’s, Lamb Rogan Josh, Pilau Rice and a Garlic Naan. A cheat meal you say? Mmm… nope, thats called a take away.
So to put it bluntly, healthy students simply cannot exist, well not amongst my friends at least. So stop feeling bad about yourself that you’ve had to opt for your boots meal deal lunch for the third day running- odds are, your pal eating her pasta in the library is probably going to Crisis tonight and will drunkenly consume more calories from the Burger bar than you’ve consumed all week.
Edited by Lucy Jackman
Sources:
http://giphy.com/search/junk-food
https://amithirty.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/elf-eating-junk-food.gif