I struggled a lot with deciding whether to even write this specific blog post. I debated if it was worth my time and effort — boys usually aren’t. But for the sake of being completely open with my readers, I went for it.
So here’s the deal. I don’t date. Las Cruces is too small of a town for that. It’s the same reason I don’t kiss boys in Cruces, because if you’ve kissed one, you’ve basically kissed them all. But just because I don’t “date” doesn’t mean I haven’t had special guys in my life. What I’ve learned is that most of them come in categories, and the quicker you learn which categories these men fall into, the quicker you can see if they’re a right fit for you in your life at that moment.
With that, let’s get to the juicy details.
The Prince Charming. Not actually as charming as he thinks. P.S. dude: it’s a total turn off that you’re always with like six other girls every time I see you.
The guy who tried to box me into his idea of “perfect.” He’s an idiot. Nobody can tame this wild heart, and the more you try, the more I’ll pull away. I should’ve known that one wouldn’t last long.
The guy I thought was my friend. Then I was blindsided with the whole “I like you” thing. See you later, buddy!
The guy who is perfect…in theory. This is the guy who always texts back (rare, right?). He has always been there whenever I need anything, and we have tried to be “a thing,” but something just isn’t there. It breaks my heart every time I realize I don’t like him “like that,” because I know I should. In the future, I’ll realize this guy is one of the most spectacular people in my life. And once we both realize that and stop trying to make a relationship happen, we will be best friends.
The guy with whom I have a crazy connection. This is the guy who fate keeps throwing into my life, and won’t quite let me forget him. We would be great for each other and have a super fun relationship…but not right now. He’s the person who I know deep down is a good guy, but he doesn’t know how to be that guy right now. This guy needs to work on himself a little bit first before I would ever consider jumping into his life. He’s the guy who I’m sure I’ll cross paths with in the future, and when that happens, it’ll be amazing.
The others. This is the category of guys who don’t go in a category because of their own personalities, but because of how they react to me. These are the guys who I push away as soon as possible. The ones I know can’t handle the free-spirited, sassy (borderline mean) person I am. These are the random “I met him in Chicago and talked to him for two days before I realized he was an idiot” guys. These ones almost aren’t even worth mentioning, but we’ve all had a few of them so I thought I’d throw it in the mix.
One of my dearest friends told me recently: “The end-all-be-all isn’t anyone else. It’s you. So whatever you go through, remember it’s a journey, not a destination. And the main person you should focus on in that journey is you.”
Each of these guys had a place in my life at one point, for some reason or another. I’ve learned a lot about myself and other people through these experiences. And, if nothing else, I appreciate it as a constant reminder to keep my standards high.
With that in mind, I encourage you to take inventory of the categories of men you have in your life and decide if that person compliments the person you want to be in that moment in time.
XOXO (it felt appropriate),
-B