Now, before everyone starts getting all defensive, I am not calling an entire generation of people “black hearted.” I’m not calling them evil, or heartless, or anything of the sort. I’m also not saying that those who post sayings like, “nails as dark as my heart/soul” are terrible human beings. Those sayings are a joke. I can take one, I can appreciate one, and I definitely appreciate black nail polish and black clothing as much as the next girl. This is also not a rant about how terrible the Millennials are.
However, I do look around sometimes and feel like I’m surrounded by a whole lot of caged emotions. Boys overlooking people they have feelings for because they’re more focused on how much they’ll be judged for showing emotion. What would their friends say? What about all of the other people they would no longer be able to hook up with? Girls not showing appreciation for people they have feelings for because if she shows her deep feelings for someone she’s too vulnerable. Vulnerability is not okay, because that leaves the chance to be labeled as weak, and weakness is not an option. So, here we are. Left with boys with no emotion, because that would show weakness, along with girls who can’t show vulnerability, because that would also show weakness.
Then we all sit around scratching our heads wondering where “romance” has gone. Romance has gone nowhere. Romance is hiding behind those concrete walls that we have all built up. There is no such thing as romance with caged emotions and an emotional supply of ammunition ready to aim and fire just in case we feel vulnerable. With romance and love comes vulnerability. It’s actually what makes it so special. A candle-lit dinner and flowers mean absolutely nothing without trying to know every inch, secret, and fiber of the human being sitting in front of you. It’s terrifying to let someone into the very depths of you. But, there is no big gain in life without a big risk.
Anything that is beautiful involves emotion. Music? Art? They’re beautiful because they are built off of emotion. Our favorite movies, even if they are sad, are our favorite because they make us FEEL something. We forget about movies that don’t move us emotionally. Why would people be any different? We don’t read books or watch movies or play sports that aren’t involved in emotions. So why do we run around the earth, marketing our “emotionless” selves, expecting someone to come along and rock our worlds? It will never work that way. Emotionless lives are, well, plainly mediocre, and I have yet to find anyone who would say they’re chasing a mediocre life.
Quite frankly, this doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships, but to basically every relationship we have. People will hurt you. No matter how much they love and care about you, they will unintentionally hurt you more than once. Obviously, if you find that this person is hurting you more than they are benefiting you, it’s probably time to say goodbye. But, if a person genuinely loves and cares for you and unintentionally hurts you, it is not worth it to build all of these walls to the inner fortress of yourself.
Each time we are hurt we are more cautious. That is smart, we are learning from the past. But one of the biggest mistakes we can make is to treat every person like the last person who hurt us. There is beauty in forgiveness. It is so easy to become a ball of caged emotions. It is easy to pretend like we are invincible. In fact, most times it is easier to say we feel nothing rather than admitting we feel something. But our emotions are directly a part of what make us human. We make mistakes, we learn, but we are not supposed to stop feeling. Stronger? Yes. Emotionless? No.
I’m not trying to say that the world is perfect or that we should forgive every single person who wrongs us. Some of us are also just not as emotional as others, and that’s okay. I am not trying to say that we all need to change who we are; I’m actually trying to say the exact opposite. People can be cruel and it’s okay to let go of those that constantly hurt you over and over again. However, otherwise, try to keep your humanity. Challenge yourself to feel empowered, in your black clothes, with your soul that is exploding in color. Stop cheating yourself from bliss just because the world has let you down. It’s not for anyone else, it’s because you deserve it.