The 5 Stages of PMS as told by New Girl

Every month, women all around the world get a glorious surprise from Mother Nature as a gift to tell them that they are not with a child. Thankfully enough, this gift only lasts a week (even though if we’re being honest, it really should only last a day or two.) 

But sometimes, Mother Nature’s gift isn’t even the worst part about it…honestly, the Premenstrual Syndrome commonly known as PMS is even worse.

The funny thing about PMS is that it can start any time before a female’s period. Maybe 2-3 days before, 1 week before or even going to the extremity of 2 weeks before their period. 

There are different stages of PMS and to make explaining these stages less awkward, I thought it’d be fun to share them with the help of my current favorite television show, New Girl. 

If you’re a girl, you know that you can relate to these stages!

Stage 1: The Emotional Stage

Here are just a few emotions that every girl experiences through PMS: Joy, Anger, Depression, Envy, Happiness, Nervous, Excited, Reckless, Scared–and that’s just the beginning of the list. We are one hormonal mess inside and out when it comes to this stage and unfortunately, it’s just the beginning.

Stage 2: The Lustful Stage

“Oh, he is gorgeous. I want him.” In this stage, females are constantly looking at every male specimen that crosses their path and just start to fall in love. And the best part of it all is stalking them on social media and planning the honeymoon for after the wedding without them even knowing. 

Stage 3: The Hunger Stage

We eat and eat, then complain we are fat and then eat again, because why not? If you think about it, our bodies are just temples that need to be nourished with junk food and sweets. “It’s my temple and I will eat whatever the heck I want to eat!” (That’s Stage 1 talking…sorry…she gets quite emotional…)

Stage 4: The Sleepy Stage

At this point, sleep is your best friend. Waking up and getting dressed is overrated. We just want peace, quiet and sleep, chocolate and a boyfriend who will cuddle with us while our bodies are being tortured for not being pregnant. Is that too much to ask for? 

Stage 5: The Weight Gain/ Cramping Stage

PMS is seriously cramping our style by stage 5. I don’t get why our ovaries try to kill us from the inside out! It’s totally not cool at all. Every female at this point has given up and surrendered to Mother Nature as she is bestowing them with the wonderful gift known as their period.

*Once a month be like* Welcome back old pal, let’s do this!

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