There’s a little known bit of information that is so overlooked in life. Self-hate. Or, you know, variations of it. A more appropriate term for some may be self-you-look-bad-today or self-ugh-do-better. No matter the intensity, almost every single person has felt this and I believe the consensus would be that it sucks.
I always say this, and I’m sure some smart soul out there said it first, but you’re the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life. There could be relationships, romantic or otherwise, that last ages, but during every second of every day there is only one person who you’re stuck with, and that’s you. Now, many people would take the time to go the route of ‘don’t be rude, atrocious human beings because why would you want to live the rest of your life with an ass?’ ‘Don’t be awful, just be kind’ is a great point, and it does transition to the knowledge that you shouldn’t be an ass to yourself. You’re quite literally stuck with yourself, so instead of being a hater, be your own cheerleader.
Each of my friends that I’ve talked to, who outwardly love themselves, have said that one day, all of a sudden, they just decided to love themselves. When I say, “love themselves,” I mean a true, deep seeded love and appreciation that they’ve gained for themselves in almost all aspects. They decided to say “to hell with being so critical of myself.”
In high school I had a few key insecurities. While I still am insecure about those same things, I do it without ripping myself apart.
Oh, my thighs touch? Okay, cool.
I haven’t got baby butt smooth skin? Fine, fair point, but my hair is killer.
Loving you isn’t about not disliking aspects of your personality, life, body, etc. It’s about not letting those dislikes dictate the value you’ve given yourself. Insecurities are natural but I promise, no compliment will sound sincere unless you really believe it about yourself.
Just like any sort of love, falling in love with yourself requires a little bit of compromise. You may not be able to love every inch of yourself and every detail that makes you who you are, but you can try. In the meantime, don’t be so hard on yourself. How would you feel if a stranger said to you some of the things you think about yourself? You’d probably want to either a) cry or b) hit someone in the kidney. Or maybe a combination of them both.
Fall in love with yourself. It will take time but just go at your own pace, day by day.
Talk to someone about it. Be honest with a trusted person about the things you hold in your head. That’s a heavy weight for anyone to bear alone.
And eventually, when you do fall head over heels in love with yourself, you’ll preach the benefits of it to about anyone who will listen because you’ll remember what it used to be like to be in their shoes.