How to Conquer Your Campus’s Starbucks

I LOOOOVVVEEEE coffee. I love it because it’s tasty. I love it because, as a college student, I am entitled to use it as a study tool. And I mostly love it because we have an on campus Starbucks! 

While our Starbucks isn’t necessarily a legit Starbucks, I wanted to put it to the ultimate test. After a quick search I had all the information I needed to see if our Starbucks could handle drinks from the secret menu. With the help of this website I picked 5 drinks that I thought would be do-able considering our cafeteria doesn’t have all of the syrups and products. So move over Pumpkin Spiced Latte. Ranked from worst to best, here are 5 secret drinks you can order from the University of Portland: 

5. Chocolate Covered Strawberries Frappuccino

• ​How to order: Just ask for a Strawberries and Cream Frappuccino and ask them to add chocolate. 
• Score (Out of 5)
• Easiness to Order: 2, man did I get some weird looks after ordering this drink. It’s not impossible to make, but I felt very frowned upon. 
• Authenticity: 5, as gross as this drink was it really did taste like chocolate covered strawberries. 
• Taste: 1, THIS DRINK DID NOT WORK! DO NOT MAKE MY MISTAKES! 
• Overall (out of 15 points): 8, still gets some points for oddly tasting exactly like chocolate covered strawberries. 

4. Cinnamon Roll Chai

• ​How to order: This was my third or so drink into my experiment, and by this point I was tired of asking “do you have __________ syrup??” So first ask for a chai latte, and then I THINK I asked if they had white chocolate syrup, either that or they just added white mocha to the drink. And instead of asking if they had cinnamon syrup I decided to add powdered cinnamon myself. 
• Score (Out of 5)
• Easiness to Order: 3, wasn’t impossible. 
• Authenticity: 2.5, in reality the recipe never claims it is supposed to taste like a cinnamon roll, but that was completely what I was expecting.
• Taste: 4, this drink was really good. But you know what else is just as good?? A regular chai. 
• Overall: 9.5

3. Cotton Candy Frappuccino

• ​How to order: Order a vanilla bean frappuccino and ask them to add raspberry syrup. 
• Score (Out of 5)
• Easiness to Order: 5, so super easy. No weird looks. I loved it. 
• Authenticity: 2, there was a whisper of cotton candy. It certainly didn’t taste like raspberry either, which was weird. It tasted exactly how you think the color pink would taste. (But not like bubble gum, ya weirdos)
• Taste: 3.5, Very tasty but very sweet. I think the employees think that I am crazy. 
• Overall: 10.5

2.  Turtle Macchiato

• ​How to order: Ask for a carmel macchiato and just have them add chocolate syrup. 
• Score (Out of 5)
• Easiness to Order: 5, maybe it was just how nice the barista was, but this drink was also incredibly easy to order. 
• Authenticity: 2, I have had other turtle drinks at other coffee places. This drink didn’t taste like the others, but it also didn’t suck. 
• Taste: 4, I think adding the chocolate greatly improves on the taste of the caramel macchiato. I decide to order this drink hot because when they make it iced all of the caramel goes to the bottom and then the coffee is all alone in its milky nothingness taste. Adding the chocolate made it taste like coffee again, but like GOOD coffee so don’t worry. 
• Overall: 11

1.  Sugar Cookie Hot Chocolate

• ​How to order: Ask for a white hot chocolate. Have them add a pump of vanilla and a pump of hazlenut syrup. Say “yes please” when they ask if you want whipped cream because when you get the drink you need to take off the lid and sprinkle the raw sugar on top of the whipped cream. 
• Score (Out of 5)
• Easiness to Order: 3.5, a little bit more complex of a process. They have all of the syrups though so it’s not that hard either. 
• Authenticity: 4.5, it really tastes like a sugar cookie. Adding the raw sugar makes it kind of crunchy like a legit cookie. Would recommend. 
• Taste: 4, SO GOOD. Also really sweet, so keep that in mind. 
• Overall: 12

• cafeteria
• coffee
• starbucks