If you have divorced parents, you realize the struggles that come along with trying to spend equal time with both sides of the family during the holiday season. You may be in a constant struggle of asking yourself, “Do I go to dad’s house or mom’s house first? Do I eat dinner at mom’s and dessert at dad’s? Do I open mom’s presents first or dad’s?” These questions fill our heads as this time of year approaches us. It’s certainly a challenge that I find myself dealing with every year, but I’ve come to realize that it is possible to share your time equally with your parents. I’m sure many of you are in the same situation, so here are a few tips to help your holidays run smoothly.
Figure out the best schedule for you.
You are the most important factor in this situation and it is not always about what your parents want. You are old enough to decide when you want to see your parents and what works best for you. If you decide to alternate holidays and spend one year with mom and the next year with dad, that works. If you can split the day in half and spend time equally among them, that works too. Find the best set-up that you’re the most comfortable with!
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Don’t let your parents put you in the middle.
Whether your parents get along well or not, it’s up to you to decide who you want to see during the holidays. Don’t let one of your parents convince you to only spend the holidays with them because they are “better.” Avoid the pressure for competition, and do whatever you feel is going to make you the happiest, because the holidays are a time to enjoy and cherish the moments you have with your family!
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Keep in mind that you have to remain flexible.
The holidays are a time where things are likely to go wrong. Your mom might be having dinner later than expected, or you might have spent longer opening presents than you planned, but just let the other parent know the situation and I’m sure they will understand. Things happen and we have to remember to have an open mind and know that not everything may go exactly as we planned.
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Start new traditions with each sides of the family.
Having to deal with the struggles of seeing both parents is challenging but if you plan little traditions with each family every year, you’ll learn that you enjoy spending the holidays with both sides and ultimately, that it’s all worth it in the end.
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Expect the best outcome!
If you remain positive, it’s more likely that good things will come! Visualize yourself having a wonderful and stress-free holiday, no matter how you spend it.Â